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I feel so alone in dealing with this, Everyone (doctors, therapists etc) give me good advice such as going for walks, using buses more, just generally being in more crowded places...the only problem is...i live in a village and the nearest town is too expensive to travel to for someone who is refused esa.
What makes me feel worse is i'm a 22y/o guy who's never had a job because of these problems and lives with his mum and i have nobody, no siblings, no family near me, no friends, i just feel so trapped and the more time goes by the more i just don't want to live anymore, i feel such a failure.
. i went to college for 6 months but i had to leave as i couldn't handle the 45 minute bus journey in the morning and every friend i made lived so far away. i then got told to try volunteering, they said it would make me feel better...but it didn't i still felt the same..alone and i recently declined an another college course, which in all honesty i only applied for to make my mum and the doctor feel happy. My confidence is in ruins.
It's like everytime i leave the house for a walk or cycle, the sight of people together, friends, families etc makes me feel so hurt inside, and i just can't deal with it. In the morning i just wish i had never woken up, i just feel like a burden and a disappointment on everyone.
Anyway..im not sure why i posted this...maybe just had to tell someone...
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