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My anxiety has always related in some ways to who I am as a person, and how other people perceive me. Just recently, I've been overanalysing everything I say and do at work, and truly, honestly believing that I'm just faling at everything. I love my job, I couldn't imagine doing anything else. But suddenly it feels as if it's not for me. And I get this tight, shaky feeling in my chest at the thought of having to leave because I'm crap at it. I'll say something or suggest something and then clam up, realising I've said the wrong thing. "Oh, crap I shouldn't have said that. Now I'm gonna get sacked or become a laughing stock or maybe people will realise how stupid I am." Or "Oh, that's right. Why didn't I know that? I should have known that! God, I'm so stupid!"
It was getting to the point today where I felt close to having a panic attack or just begging them to let me go home because my anxiety levels are through the roof. I really don't want to leave, but at the moment, I feel like I'm holding them back, or that somehow I'm detrimental to the team and the people we're there to help.
What can I do? Because it's really, really becoming a problem, not just in work but outside of work. Last time this was an issue, my anxiety built up stronger over time, snowballing as other issues held on. It got to the point where I near enough had a complete breakdown and was wondering around the house at 3 in the morning and refusing to eat. I don't want to get like this again, because the intrusive thoughts that went with this spike darn near finished me off. But I can feel it building up again and I don't know how to control it!
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