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These last few months I feel like I'm a monster. Today my husband even spoke of divorce if I can't stop this obsessive behavior of thinking he's doing things he swears he's not. He is a truck driver and is gone for weeks and all I think about is that he's doing things out there that he shouldn't. He's been a truck driver for over 20 years and I never had this feeling before until I turned 50. I know he's spoken to his ex-wife of 30+ years just recently. He says he told me she contacted him via text and he says that when he told me about it that I said I didn't care if he spoke to her. Now, I don't remember saying this to him, but he swears I did. Later, I found her name on his phone and went ballistic!!! He didn't act guilty and was even surprised when I lost it. He said all they do is text once in awhile and it's all innocent. I told him to stop and he said, "No problem" and gave me his phone to let me block her. He even let me send her a text to tell her to stop texting him. He was perfectly fine with this and said if he'd known he would never had done it to begin with.
Now all I do is doubt everything he tells me and want to check everything he has to make sure other things aren't going on. He's apologized profusely and even told me to go through his stuff any time I feel like it if it makes me feel better. Now we've been going around and around this for about 3 months now and he's totally done with all this. I will be fine one day and then the next I'm doubting everything he says and accusing him of all kinds of things. I'm not sure if this is peri-menopause or the fact that I found his ex's name on his phone that has started this craziness. I feel bad because just as he thinks we've gotten everything hashed out and we start acting normal again, I will hit him again with accusations. WHAT DO I DO??? We have an autistic daughter and another daughter that still lives with us and we both worry about them. But I know he's at the end of his rope and frankly I really don't blame him. I just don't know what to do since we have no health insurance and I can't see a doctor.
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