I feel like I’m going crazy

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Hi, I am 17 and have been struggling with my emotions for about a year now. I used to be normal, and had no mental health issues. Once I got into an abusive relationship, mental issues began to arise. I have been with my boyfriend for two years now, and I have a hard time controlling myself whenever we argue. He cheats on me and isn’t emotionally available for me, and so whenever I try to communicate with him about how I’m feeling, I go insane. I try to calmly talk to him, and he will usually get mad at me and call me names. After he starts calling me names and denying my efforts of communication, I start crying, screaming and yelling at him. I just get so frustrated when he isn’t there for me so I explode. I used to never do stuff like this and I used to be able to control myself when I was in tough situations, however now I’m having a very hard time doing so. I only seem to scream and yell when it comes to him! I’m also super paranoid that he’s cheating on me ALL THE TIME and whenever I’m not talking to him, I worry about what he could be doing, who he’s with, etc. This is all beginning to control my life. I feel super depressed and paranoid all the time, and it affects how I act towards others and it affects my motivation and drive to do simple things. Most people have told me to leave my boyfriend since our relationship has turned toxic, but I find it impossible to leave. People have given me tons of advice on how to move on, and I will try everything that they suggest to do, and nothing has worked. I always go back to him, and I honestly do not think I could ever leave him. I don’t know what to do, and I feel like I am going crazy. Please help.

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    He cheats on you and isn't there for you emotionally....what do you get from this mutually abusive relationship? You'll leave when you're ready. I hope. I don't think anything will change till then. Go to a counsellor together. Take care.

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  • Posted

    Sarah, I met my ex when I was 19. From the very start he cheated and was emotionally abusive and neglectful. I felt I couldn't leave either and that I wouldn't know what to do without him.  I felt more and more insane and got increasingly more upset as the years went by. Promises to change were made and never kept. Thankfully he eventually left (and has now started screwing up other woman's lives....) and I have been diagnosed with a form of PTSD.

    My advice - leave now before you have your life ruined. People very rarely change.

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  • Posted

    Sarah 

    You are so young and you need to look for someone who will be honest  and want to please you and call you nice names. Controlling someones life is wrong.

    If He is like what He is now, RUN

    BOB

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  • Posted

    Hi why is it impossible for you to leave this physically and emotionally cheating man?  Are you scared of him?  Do you think you can't manage without him?  

    A reality check - he is not going to stop cheating on you nor is he ever going to be interested in how you are feeling.  If you stay with him you had better get used to that.  No matter what you do or how you might change your behaviour he is still going to continue like this.  It's not you but him who is the problem.  

    You have heard from the others - leave him!  You deserve better and you won't get it whilst you remain with this abusive man who is treating you horribly.  x

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