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Hi, I am 17 and have been struggling with my emotions for about a year now. I used to be normal, and had no mental health issues. Once I got into an abusive relationship, mental issues began to arise. I have been with my boyfriend for two years now, and I have a hard time controlling myself whenever we argue. He cheats on me and isn’t emotionally available for me, and so whenever I try to communicate with him about how I’m feeling, I go insane. I try to calmly talk to him, and he will usually get mad at me and call me names. After he starts calling me names and denying my efforts of communication, I start crying, screaming and yelling at him. I just get so frustrated when he isn’t there for me so I explode. I used to never do stuff like this and I used to be able to control myself when I was in tough situations, however now I’m having a very hard time doing so. I only seem to scream and yell when it comes to him! I’m also super paranoid that he’s cheating on me ALL THE TIME and whenever I’m not talking to him, I worry about what he could be doing, who he’s with, etc. This is all beginning to control my life. I feel super depressed and paranoid all the time, and it affects how I act towards others and it affects my motivation and drive to do simple things. Most people have told me to leave my boyfriend since our relationship has turned toxic, but I find it impossible to leave. People have given me tons of advice on how to move on, and I will try everything that they suggest to do, and nothing has worked. I always go back to him, and I honestly do not think I could ever leave him. I don’t know what to do, and I feel like I am going crazy. Please help.
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