I feel like I'm going crazy after the death of my father.

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I've never done or posted anything like this but I don't know what to do; more specifically I just want to know if I'm actually going crazy. My father died 10 months ago while I was in job training and unable to see him. Once I got to my job, my grandmother died. Soon after my other grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and not even a week ago my grandfather died. My mom isn't in my life at all and my other Dad left me without a clue where he was going or how to get in contact with him about 3 weeks ago now. My whole family's gone and I have no one left at 19. I've been struggling for these 10 months but after these last couple of weeks I started to have really bad nightmares about my Dad, I struggle to sleep, eat, and I can barely concentrate for long periods of time. I started feeling like my Dad was standing next to me or I'll see him standing somewhere. Sometimes I think that other people are my Dad for a moment. Sometimes I think he's talking to me (not from the beyond the grave though, I just actually think he's standing somewhere and talking to me). I have a chronic headache, I'm sick to my stomach at times, I'm very tired and feel ill. I get anxious when I have to talk about it but my hands will start to minimally shake if I feel at all pressured. I work in a very stressful government job so my job stress and co-workers can make it harder. I've talked to a psychiatrist but no one's giving me any answers. My true problem though is that I really think I'm actually going crazy. Maybe it's a poor reaction to grief but I've searched high a low for others experiencing the honest-to-God breakdown I'm having and I've found nothing. Please, please help me. I don't know what else to do.   

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  • Posted

    I am so sorry for all your losses : ( 

    When my husband died, I thought I had gone crazy too. I saw a grief counselor and they specifically work with people that have lost their loved ones.  Even though I thought I had gone quite crazy, this woman assured me that I did not lose my mind.  She even laughed at a few things I told her (which I was sure made me crazy)  and she would say, "you aren't the first person that happened too...and you are still not crazy".   The grief counselor helped me a lot!   Try calling hospice in your area and ask them to give you the name of a grief counselor. It did not cost any money either so you might have a few free sessions too.

    I hope you check out the following link:

    https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/12/03/grief-brings-out-hallucinations-illusions/

    I remember hearing his footsteps, thinking I heard the door opening and closing when it was his time to come home from work. It wasn't a ghost..it was my brain remembering what was. I wasn't crazy, my brain just couldn't realize he was dead.

     Please see a grief counselor. I also took medicine to calm me down almost every day for a month. Both the counselor and a short time on meds really helped.  It is all just too much for you to handle...and that is okay...it isn't something that most can handle well. It is actually normal to feel crazy afterr losing a close one...and you have had a lot of deaths!

    Again, I am so sorry for all of your losses.

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  • Posted

    Try to make an appt with another dr. It sounds like you have a great deal of anxiety. You need to speak to a therapist or a psychiatrist. You have been through quite a bit in your young life. The dr will help you sort all this out.            God Bless                     buck
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  • Posted

    Hello Kristy  I am so sorry to hear what you are going through especially at so young an age . I agree with Laura that you need to see another doctor for a second opinion  You are not going crazy but obviously need help from the medical practice  It is understandable that you are feeling like this knowing what you are going through  But there are people here that will support you and are thinking of you  sending our love to you please keep in touch  love from Margaret xx
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  • Posted

    Hello Kristy,

    You have been through a lot of bad events in a very chort time...and also you are very young, you are not going crazy but maybe you feel very alone in all this...try to speak with someone about your feelings, get out of the house as much as you can, meet your friends, do not stay alone too much time...and a therapist could help you understand its normal to feel like this in your situation. You will be okay as time goes by...you need to feel you are not alone, i think thats the most important now... hugs and best wishes !

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  • Posted

    You have gone through a really terrible time of late and it is hardly surprising that  you feel that you are going mad!

    I agree with the others though.  You do need to speak to a grief counsellor who will be specially trained to help you get through this.  May then when you are feeling a bit better you can join some groups and make some friends to help fill up the space that is empty in your life since your family have passed. 

    I think the key for most people is to keep busy when they are having a hard time so that there is little time to dwell on things. 

    Good luck and let us know how you go on smile

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