I feel like I ruined my health

Posted , 7 users are following.

ive read lot of stories where people pushed through and then prolonged their recovery. I dont know what to do, I try to rest as much as I can but then even a slightest activity makes me worse. Maybe I need to not do anything at all for a few months. But at the same time I dont feel like laying down all day. I feel like I destroyed my body and it cant get itself into healing process. It makes me so angry to think Im never gonna recover. Or recover after a long time from now. Even if I recovered straight away Im so angry that its been more than 3 years and It could have been much less if I didnt push through all the time.

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    i know that feeling all too well. pushed through the first year now im paying for it

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  • Posted

    Hi Lob,

    Oh man I hope and pray so much for a breakthrough for you, you've suffered so much and your frustration is only too understandable. I wish we could understand better why some trials seem to go on so long, it's so hard when we can't see why or find a way to do something to help ourselves - if it a case of doing a certain exercise or something that would help even, but it's so hard when something keeps going on. I'm struggling too just now Lob with hip pain and anxiety over it and my emotions are a bit all over the place. I just want so much for us all on here to be well, don't want you and everyone to keep suffering and struggling the way you have been for so long - praying so much for God to have mercy and to help everyone on here Lob.

    And Lob I know you're concerned that you overdid things in the earlier stages, but please please know that it's not because of this that you are still going through this, you have done so much to help yourself over a long period and tried to do the right things, everyone tries to push on as normal in the early stages but it doesn't mean to say people don't get better after that - this is not your fault in any way Lob, it's just a terrible virus and illness, and I just hope and pray for better and healthier times ahead for you - I still believe God is good and is going to help you and bring you through this, somehow, please God, in Jesus' name.

    Craig

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    • Posted

      hey craig, thanks for reassurement as always and hope your hip problem will improve soon.

      The pushing in the early stages dont bother me as much these days. However, what Im concerned about is the current situation. Im thinking about whether going to uni last year was a good choice since I still havent recovered, and again I feel like resting all day, but uni is starting in a week. Im worried if should I just drop and focus on recovering. But then I could have done that a year ago already. Also I was resting a lot over the summer and the progress seems as little as during the uni, so its not worrh dropping out if the benefit would be negligible really. On the other hand if this is chronic fatigue or something not really treatable, university is not sustainable option. I dont know how to decide.

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    • Posted

      Hey Lob,

      Thanks for the best wishes, I'm just trying to manage each day as best I can just now. Some days been better than others.

      I can really understand how that must be a very difficult decision to make about uni, it must be a lot of stress and I know that can't help the situation but of course at the same time you don't want to have to stop or step out. Would deferring for a year be an option, and perhaps this time next year you could pick up from where you left off without losing anything other than the year out? Maybe just that sustained time out and away from the constant pressures of uni might make a difference, sometimes you really have to put your health first. I know it really can't be an easy choice to make, either way just make sure you look after yourself and keep just taking it one day at a time, truly you've done amazing to make it through to this stage given what you've been going through for so long, I still think about and pray for you daily Lob, hang in there.

      Craig

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  • Posted

    Do not beat yourself up over what you cannot change. instead, make a change now. Take the time to let your body rest. I am a little over 1 year since my first symptoms and it's been an up and down ride but I'm finally stabilized with mostly good days. I still get tired a few days a month, but the rest of the days I feel normal. I know you do not want to rest, but think of your body and recovery and just force yourself to do it. Foe me, i found some shows to binge watch on Netflix and that kept me on the couch resting. 😃

    This too shall pass. I hope you feel better soon.

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    • Posted

      do you just rest or are you working? When I am at home and rest most of the time I can do a 1-2 hours of something productive but not physical without long term effects. However, anytime I go out for a few hours with friends for lunch or so I crash the next day. Also its very strange because at the time I do not feel fatigued, only after. Like Im even alright with running and dont even feel the need to sit down or lay down, compared to when doing nothing.

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  • Posted

    Hi Lob,

    You and my daughter are on the same time schedule. She feels the same way about over doing it. She has been feeling a little better, but still a lot of down days.

    It took me a long time to feel better also and I know not to over do it or I will have down days too.

    I hope you feel better soon and know that better days will come. She has had good luck with nettle tea.

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    • Posted

      hi mono,

      the thing is it feels like any activity makes it worse. Even with just few minutes of doing something apart from laying down and I can feel it afterwards. Usually I wont crash but still. I tried nettle tea but havent noticed anything

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  • Posted

    Hi lob,

    Please do not blame yourself at all. none of this is your fault at all. you have been doing the best you can, and you have been suffering with this for a long time and you deserve good health. I Remember blaming myself to and i remember what it feels like. I was convinced that i would never get better, and i would have to live a terrible life, but I Did get better, it took 1 year and 4 months for me to fully feel healthy. Everybody is different but i still believe you will feel better eventually. i believe your body will come around but you just need to keep doing your best to do what is right for your body. everybody on the forum is proud of you for staying so strong through these tough years, and we all think about you and pray for you.

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    • Posted

      thanks young boy for encouraging words. It just feels like there is no solution. I try to rest as much I can, but then it doesnt help and uni starts again and it feels like Im not gonna recover when pushing at uni. But then again Im resting and its not really helping either so dont know what to do.

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