I feel like im going crazy

So tonight i thought my dad was acting really weird, he was drinking today and asked me to take a shot etc. (note im 15) and i thought that was odd but he was drunk, so hours pass and he takes a nap and wakes up, walks into my room and puts his hands around my shoulders and shakes me kinda and asks if im awake, while im sitting in my chair at my desk and i say yes, he then goes to the bathroom says "i think its time to wake up" etc. so after a bit he goes out into the living room and lays down on the couch and asks if hes gonna see me in the morning, i respond with "what? yeah" and then 5 minutes later he asks me again and i say yes again. After that I go out into the kitchen to make popcorn and i put it on for 3:30 seconds instead of 2:30 which i rarely forget about stuff like that and when i go back out its burnt and my dad keeps asking what the smell is, etc. and i keep responding its popcorn, then when i make another bag and start walking to my room he gets up takes it and asks for a bowl and im like okay... go get him a bowl then make another bag, i go to get the other bag and he asks me about my cousin that i barely know and her boyfriend/husband and i say i have no clue so i start walking to my room and he says "hey come back in here imma beat you up" then go into my room and get dressed and i walk out and say im going for a walk youre acting really weird, and he responds with "no youre acting really weird", i then say seriously youre acting weird im going for a walk and he responds with "fine but im going to beat you up". 

i leave and try calling my sister but i forgot today she works a midnight so i end up walking to her work and talking to her about it, she calls my dad and he says that he feels fine and doesnt know what shes talking about, and i walk home. When i get back he doesnt say anything and just keeps watching tv and i go back into my room and im now writing this.. 

my dad is bipolar and has a couple other conditions, i have depression and anxiety and i feel like im going crazy and my mind just made up all the stuff my dad said because he says he doesnt remember any of it.. my depression hasnt been getting worse lately (im on meds) and last night i was in the bathtub trying to cut myself open and kill myself with a box cutter but luckily it was too dull to do anything that bad.. am i just having a mental breakdown or something? what should i do? i was thinking of going back to the psych ward but school starts soon and i dont want it to interfere with that.

3 likes, 3 replies