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I'm so sorry for the long post but I would really appreciate you giving it a read and giving me some advice please.
So for the past year and a half or so I have been dealing with the feeling of sadness. It all started when I found out my ex partner took thousands of pounds from me and fraudulently made credit cards in my name working up huge amounts of debt. He completely betrayed my trust. It dragged out for a year while the police was dealing with the case. It was found as fraud, he got cautioned and I didn't get a penny back he took from me. Luckily the accounts he made I didn't have to pay off. In January it was in lots of papers and I got so much support, people just being there for me. But as time has gone on I feel like people expect me to have gotten over it but I don't think I have.
It got to the point I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone. I was feeling sadder as time went on and bottled everything up which would result in random break downs at work. I'd burst into tears thinking about it too much, I'd struggle to breathe and started having panic attacks. I very quickly started obsessing over things - locking my car 3 times, making sure the numbers on my sheets at work followed some sort of pattern and other things like that because I felt like that was the only thing I could control in my life and it made me feel better.
My outbursts started happening too often so a friend talked me into going to my gp. I eventually did and they said it sounded like I was struggling with depression and anxiety. She offered me tablets and councilling. I agreed to the councilling but she suggested it would help me calm down and deal with things better if I take tablets too. I agreed to a small dose I take daily. I feel like they've helped because I don't work myself up as much as I did. The counselling I found good being able to talk to someone who I could feel wasn't judging me. It was only a short term course and last around 8 weeks. He decided I was dealing with things better and thought it would be a good idea to see how I get on on my own. I was ok for a few weeks. Not happy but not feeling down. But over the past few months I can feel myself slipping again. I don't even know why anymore. I have just brought a house and it was put on hold because of the whole fraud case but I don't know if thats why I feel sad or not. I'm alright when I'm with people but then I get home, I'm on my own and I just sit and cry and I don't know why. I feel like I don't feel anything anymore and I get mad at myself for feeling this way. I just want to feel normal again and be happy but I'm finding it hard to believe I'l ever get that back. I feel so empty. Please help me I don't know what to do anymore 😔 xxx
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