I feel so unwell 😩

Hi Lou.  I'm so sorry you're suffering and I understand how it feels - especially the anxiety.  My doctor prescribed me Diazepam for the really bad days and they help a lot.  Even just knowing I have them to hand can help calm me down.  Could you get a fmaily member or friend to go with you to your GP or, is it possible to have a phone consultation (my doc does this).  I really think you need to speak to your GP who will, I'm sure, be able to help you.  Best of luck. x

Thank you Michelle I am so glad you have some help and it is interesting that you have Diazepam that helps you, I really do want help but just can't do it - the thing that scares me is going to the Dr and then he says " ok we,ll just do some bloods" and that would seriously freak me out, not the actual tests themselves - the results ! because I worry all the time about what could be wrong that's what stops me. I'm in surgical menopause due to huge ovarian cyst ( 20cms) and hospital surgery left me traumatised and shocked, so it's very difficult as I want to get the help but at the same time I cant, every day I think tomorrow will be better - it never is it just gets worse. Guessing that health anxiety is all part of this horrid menopause it's just so hard to deal with - feel like going mad sometimes and also I keep it to myself a lot as hubby gets cross with me , he hasn't got a clue - I hope one day to find the courage to do something , thank you x

Hi Lou, you're most welcome.  It's not easy to 'face your fears' especially after the trauma you've been through - that must have been awful for you.  I'm not sure your doc WOULD want to do meds, he/she may well suggest counselling of some kind.  I don't know where you live, but here in Scotland there is psychotherapy/CBT therapy available through NHS24 (it's called Living Life) and is conducted over the phone, free of charge.  They ask you to fill out a form explaining how you're feeling, and then call you to decide which form of therapy would help you best.  It helped me to a certain extent although I think hormones play a huge part in how I'm feeling.  Are you even able to go on a waiting list for counselling or even pay privately?  You want to live your life to the fullest and not look back and wish you hadn't sought help (I know that's easier dais than done).  I'm sorry you haven't got a more understanding husband, he shouldn't get cross with you - ask him not to and tell him you don't expect him to understand but to show some support.  The more friends/family you tell how you're feeling the more weight you will have off your shoulders.  I have and they have all been kind, although obviously not able to 'cure' me.  Someone once said to  me to 'take baby steps' and go from there.  This forum is helpful too, there's always somone who completely understands and will be there for you in so much as they can be on a forum!  Let us all know how you get on.

Love

Michele x

PS  meant to say 'bloods' not 'meds'. x

Thank you Michelle I will try to find the strength to ring surgery, it's hard because I'm so done with scary hospital appointments and letters, I've had CT scans and all kinds of Internal imaging and blood tests which I know we're all necessary but still traumatising, in fact my last scan in January I actually had a panic attack on the table and almost couldn't go through with it, it was the lovely nurse that talked me through it and calmed me down that I made it through, then I had to wait for the results which was hell for me, didn't sleep or eat for nearly two weeks, when the letter came I had another panic attack and couldn't open the letter, hubby had to do it and in fact the results were very good and hospital have discharged me, BUT this is how bad I am I actually find it hard to believe that I'm ok and maybe they are not telling me everything - sounds crazy I know, my rational mind tells me that but then my irrational thoughts take over if you get my meaning - why is it thT some people handle things better than others, I am a grandmother for goodness sake I should be grown up about all this, as for hubby well as long as normal routine carries on he can't deal with me feeling bad! I live in Dorset and not sure about our counselling services, also I don't have much faith in my GP as despite my numerous visits back and forth I was misdiagnosed in the first place for months telling me I was constipated and sent me away with laxatives, so maybe that's why I'm so scared and have problems, I don't know maybe one day I'll wake up and just say to myself I've had enough and I wont care and just go for it ! Hope so. Thank you for your kind words xx

Sorry your not feeling good i was like that when i started peri I have to have my mum with me when i went to the gp it was hard we dont drive so had togo on the bus i now she a councillerabout my anxiety it has helped me she has been raelly good she gave me a card i posted it on hereit help you what to do if you get anxious

Take care

paula x

Hi Lou.  Don't be hard on yourself, it's NOY uyour fault this has happened to you. We all have different personalities, backgrounds and life experiences which make us who we are.  We all cope (or not) in different ways.  Not everyone has a strong support network either.  The CBT Living Life therapy is only available in Scotland, however, I found this website which shows you where you can get help - http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/pages/self-help-therapies.aspx.  The more I read about how you're feeling, the more I think CBT therapy could help.

Can you talk to your children about how you're feeling?  That's too bad re your husband but I think a lot of men find it difficult to understand or sympathise with 'women's problems' and don't want anything to rock the boat.

There are good and bad doctors unfortunately.  Would it be possible for you to talk to another doctor in the same practice?

Remember, baby steps to begin with and don't put yourself under any pressure or be too hard on yourself.

Wishing you ggod luck.

Michele x

Hi Lou.  I just replied to you with a website address which might be helpful to you.  However, my reply has to be checked by a moderator first because I included a website address.  Hopefully it will be sent soon. Have a search for NHS Choices and you will find info on CBT therapy etc

Michele x

Thank you Paula, this is confusing also for me as don't know if I'm in full menopause or what ! No one has actually told me but I guess it must be as have nothing left, no womb ovaries or tubes, cervix also gone - have to gain strength from somewhere just so hard to make that move x

Thank you very much for that and yes I will look on NHS choices and at least it's a first step, isn't it awful how our minds can convince us of things, despite reassurance it's still hard to believe - menopause is just awful x

Hi Lou.  I'm sure since your hysterectomy, you will be in menopause.  Just a thought, but could you ask for your GP's district nurse to pop round and give you advice?  Maybe you should be on HRT - I don't know.  Yes, our minds can definately play up!  Our brains get 'ill' just like any other part of us and need to be made better.

Hugs x

Ooooh Michelle

You hot the nail on the head there

Our brains get ill great way of putting it, although out brain is very clever it can also make us Ill as you say

It's clever at giving signals not to eat drink or sleep n gives out the pain as warning

I'm having everything thrown at me at present just wish my light would come back on as I feel it's switched off at present

Hi Lou

I sympathise with you every step of the way even down to your hubby mine is exactly the same as long as it doesn't interfere with his routine n that I need sort myself out yet on Saturday he actually comforted me said not to worry I'll be fine

Like you I have grandchildren n I want to feel my old self again but everyday is an uphill struggle

Just wish I could feel well

I'm having a scope on my left knee tomorrow hoping they find something wrong as I'm beginning to think it's all in my head

As Michelle says our brains get ill and need be made better just wish mine would hurry up xx take care

Lou, If you've had a full hysterectomy then you are definitely in full menopause! When menopause is brought on by surgery (full hysterectomy) it's sometimes worse than a natural menopause because the body looses the hormones immediately instead of a gradual decline. Do you have a Gynecologist? Or just a GP? I'm in the U.S. So I'm not sure how the medical field works there.  

Hello Pat, thank you yes I do have a gynaecologist who said I can call him anytime and he will see me the trouble is with the health anxiety it's SO hard to make that step and I know it's pathetic and immature of me, the brain is a powerful thing and at the moment I'm stuck in limbo, I want the help but am too afraid to do anything about it, so mind working overtime and I'm getting nowhere , who would have thought that hormones could do this, but I know I'm not alone, strange this is I was never like this before and was happy and got on with life and now it's completely different xx