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I have been depressed for a long time i know, and since just before christmas started having panick attacks in which I ended up in casuality (I had to have tests for everything from stroke to brain tumour) They found nothing physically wrong with me.
It seems that every 10 years I have some kind of major crisis normally resulting from a drink and/or drugs binge (on the face of it I am a middle class professional mum of three beautiful children, I do charity work in Africa, have many friends a caring loving husband) but I just cant stop pushing 'self destruct' for years I have been in and out of counselling, but have always refused medication. After my latest crisis I have finally agreed to try medication and have prescribed Citalopram, I am on day 5, I feel worse than I did before, I can't do anything, I have no energy and feel like I am in a bubble, my husband and children are confused and frightend as they have never seen me like this before, i can normally get back on my feet after a few days of feeling low, but now I just sit and stare, smoke cigarettes and drink tea, I have no appetite, I hav'nt washed for days, I feel like I have given into medication and its taken me over, is it best sometimes just to go it alone and except this is me and ditch the meds???? Any adivce greatly appreciated :? :?
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