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I gave my daughter Herpes..how do I tell her?

Posted , 3 users are following.

sunnynov
sunnynov

After my daughter was born I had my first ever outbreak of genital warts. I was too embarassed to see the doctor, so I just learned to live with it.

When she was two, my daughter had an outbreak and I did take her to the doctor (I assumed I hadn't washed my hands properly and I'd passed it to her when I was changing her nappy). He looked her over and without explanation of what it was, he just gave me some ointment...eventually it cleared up.

I say all this to explain why I am such an idiot and have only just found out (my daughter is now 13) that 1. Genital warts = Herpes, 2. I probably passed it on to my daughter when she was born, and 3. it is incurable.

I'm devestated that I've done this to her....obviously I have to tell her now, not least because in a few years she could be having sex and passing it on without realising it. How (and when) do I I tell her? She'll never forgive me, I'm so ashamed.

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • katie42587
    katie42587 sunnynov

    Posted

    Firstly I'm pretty certain that genital warts and herpes are 2 different viruses so do you mean you found out you actually have herpes rather than genital warts as you had initially assumed?

    Also after doing a bit of research it looks like the only risks to baby during pregnancy are if you contract herpes whilst in your first trimester of pregnancy or if you have active sores whilst you are giving birth...are either of these the case with you?

    I think it's important for you to get everything straight in your head and get all the facts before you approach talking to your daughter as she will have a lot of questions.

    • sunnynov
      sunnynov katie42587

      Posted

      Thanks for replying, you're right, it seems I've been misinformed and what I have is not Herpes, but HPV. I'll be seeing my doctor before I say anything to my daughter. Thanks again smile
    • katie42587
      katie42587 sunnynov

      Posted

      Yeah I think that's a good idea go and talk to someone to try and get a conclusive diagnosis and that should calm your fears that you may have passed something to your daughter.

      I found that my usual doctor didn't know very much at all about herpes when I was diagnosed and I didn't get much help and support but when I went to see a specialist STI clinic they were so much more helpful so that may be worth going to.

      Good luck smile

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken katie42587

      Posted

      Actually if she had herpes prior to giving birth, if she had an OB during vaginal delivery, is how it would get passed to the baby and they would know very quickly. They baby would get very sick and be covered in lesions, head to toe, not just on her genitals.

      The rest though, well said.

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken sunnynov

      Posted

      What makes you think you gave it to your daughter? Usually a baby who contacted HPV through birth would get it in their throats too.

      What signs have you seen to think such a thing?

      Seeing an infectious disease doctor would provide you w the more accurate knowledge on this versus a GP especially and even some gynos are out if the loop.

  • feelbroken
    feelbroken sunnynov

    Posted

    Btw, I have a friend who didn't know she had warts either, until during or after the birth of her child and it did not get passed to her kid. Hormones are I guess what triggered the OB.

    Also, has she had any bumps down there since?

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