I get a UTI every time I have unprotected sex with my new partner but he swears it wasn't him?

Hi, I got into a relationship my new partner four months ago and started having sex with him two months ago. I suspect that he has a type of bacterium living in his penis that keeps re-infecting me. Whenever we used a condom, nothing happened to my vagina. But the first time we decided to not use the condom I had my first experience with a very bad UTI. I had four other partners prior to this person and none of them gave me a UTI before. My urination pattern before and after sex and the timing of when I shower after sex never gave me complications at all with any of my previous partners. However, for the first time in my life, as soon as me and my new partner had unprotected sex, about 12 hours later I felt a burning sensation when urinating which quickly turned into the most painful experience. My doctor confirmed it was a UTI and prescribed me with antibiotics, but couldn't give me an answer to whether it was sexually transmitted to me. My new partner claimed that it was most likely my own bacteria from my anus that accidentally got in contact with my urethra, and that there is no way that he has a UTI or an STI. However, when I asked him to get tested, he always said he will, but never ended up getting tested. After studying this topic together and seeking medical advice, after letting my vagina rest for about a month we decided to begin to try having sex again. Again, when we were using a condom I had no complications. However, last week I made the stupid mistake of thinking that maybe it was just a coincidence that I got a UTI when we had unprotected sex and it was from my own bacteria and therefore we should be fine if we have unprotected sex and be especially more sanitary and careful this time. About 15 hours later, my urethra was on fire, again. I drank water every hour so that I would urinate every hour and flush it out, however, although the UTI symptoms settled down, now out of nowhere I felt a sharp pain on my vulva, like a cut or a knife-wound. Then I started developing a fever and chills. The high fever went on for four days. When the fever finally stopped at day five, I gave myself a self-inspection of my vagina. I was shocked to see disgusting chancres all over my vulva. I see about three or four of them and it looks like bugs ate out a chunk of my vulva. I made an appointment with an OBGYN nurse practitioner for as quickly as I can for now but I am still so worried and now I am convinced that he has some type of bacteria living in his body! But he has no open sores and shows no signs of fever or chills! But this is the only person who ever made me go through these symptoms before! I always have regular STD/STI tests annually and whenever a relationship begins and ends and I have medical records of how clean my body was. No syphillis, no HIV, no HSV. The only variable that changed in my sex life is him and he is in denial that he contributed to this and he believes its not related to a bacterial infection and that it's just my body having a compromised immunity. It's such an embarrassing topic to talk about and this is the only place that I could seek help from before I can finally see a specialist. Please help me figure out what could be going on here!

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