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I get extremely anxious around my girlfriend. What can I do to fix this?

Posted , 4 users are following.

alexander09888
alexander09888

My Girlfriend and I have been dating for around 2 years now.  I've never really had much of an appetite around her but I didn't really think much of it. Everything was completely normal up until the 1 year mark when things really started to take a turn for the worse. I threw up for the first time at her house, I actually thought I was sick from some stomach bug or the heat. The next time I went out and had dinner with her dad. We ordered some food and ate some of the appetizers which was fine but then suddenly  lost my appetite and I began to feel sick. I had to excuse myself from the table because I was convinced I was going to throw up. Luckily I didn't that day. Now I realized something strange was going on.

      Some time after that I was making out with her on the couch and slowly my stomach started to churn and I became all sweaty and hot. I had to stop kissing her because I felt sick. For the rest of that night I couldn't even be around her because I felt so sick. Once she left I felt back to normal. There was a similar time where she was taking her bra off for me which she had never done before and I immediately felt sick. Luckily I managed to calm myself down and I never threw up. However during the last two times I have seen her I have thrown up . The first time I threw up in the middle of the date. The second time just the sight of seeing her (Literally the first minute of the date) that day made me sprint to the bathroom and throw up. She doesn't do anything that makes me uncomfortable and I don't know what the cause of me feeling this way is. I really want the feeling to go away because It's effecting the relationship and doesn't make me look forward to seeing her knowing that I'm probably going to get sick.

2 likes, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • micaela28677
    micaela28677 alexander09888

    Posted

    I suggest talking to her about it. If she's a good girlfriend she'll understand and maybe talk you through some thing. I did the same thing with my boyfriend. Its probably something psychological. There is nothing wrong with being

    • micaela28677
      micaela28677

      Posted

      Sorry I didn't finish but there is nothing wrong with being anxious. Its completely normal. Just talk it out with her. I'm sure everything will be fine.

    • alexander09888
      alexander09888 micaela28677

      Posted

      I have talked to her about it. I’m super open to her about it and how I feel. I just feel like its getting worse the more I see her
  • KittenLuna
    KittenLuna alexander09888

    Posted

    Hey Alexander, I wonder if this is a fear of throwing up after the first time? I now that for me, if I focus (well obsess actually) on what I don't want my body to do for fear of embarrassment or fear of being unable to rectify things, the exact thing happens. Every time I leave my home I have to just tell myself that because something happened yesterday or before, this doesn't mean that it will happen today.

    It's nice to hear that you have been speaking to your girlfriend, this will help both of you.

  • Guest
    Guest alexander09888

    Posted

    Alexander - I apologize in advance if this sounds like I’m jumping to conclusions, but could it be that you are hiding or withholding something from your girlfriend?  Maybe something you deeply regret in the past or something embarrassing, basically something you don’t want her to know.  I’m wondering if that when you see your girlfriend, whom you care deeply about, you ruminate about something you feel your withholding and it’s triggering your sick feeling?   Like I said this a huge leap...  I’m just trying understand what might be a possible trigger to your throwing up.  What might be happening too is that you are now having anxiety about feeling sick again.  We need to break that cycle of thoughts/worry.  You don’t want that to feed or ingrain those thoughts.  Have you spoken about this to your doctor or a therapist?  You might want to look into CBT.  I with the very best for you.  
    • alexander09888
      alexander09888 Guest

      Posted

      I don’t think I’m withholding anything from her. Yea I think I might have anxiety about feeling sick again. I haven’t spoken to anyone or seen a therapist. I’m kind of scared to because I’m only 15 years old and I’m so young for these kind of things 
    • Guest
      Guest alexander09888

      Posted

      Got it!  You sound like a very mature and thoughtful 15yr old.  It’s good that your on here sharing and talking about this. There are many people on here that want to help and support you.  There is nothing to be scared about.  We’re just working through a challenging time and hope you will be looking back on this soon like it was nothing.  
    • alexander09888
      alexander09888 Guest

      Posted

      What I’m questioning is if it’s worth dating this girl since she makes me feel this way. Do you think if I break up with her it’ll happen again with another girl? Or should I try and fix this problem while I’m with her?
    • Guest
      Guest alexander09888

      Posted

      Alexander - I suggest not breaking up; as it seems like you have a good relationship.  Working through this temporary challenge would be my recommendation.  If she’s supportive even better.   I do recommend seeking some counseling to better understand what might be triggering your situational stomach upset.  I assure you this can be solved.  The key is to not obsess and over-worry yourself.  You will be fine.  Promise. 
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