I get the sense I've done something wrong...

Posted , 5 users are following.

do you ever get the sense you've done something wrong? i am 46, my friend is 45, we've been friends since i was 8. recently she's persistently busy, but because i get really low sometimes i am convinced i have done something wrong . how do i know it's me? how do i know it's not! i just would like to speak to her even for 5 minutes. what would you do?

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Sam

    I think many of us feel like "what have I done wrong" particularly when suffering from a bout of depressing. As you have been friends for so long, it shouldn't be too difficult to ask her outright whether you have done anything to offend her because you feel uncomfortable with her at the moment. If she is a good friend, she will be honest with you. It could just be that she is going through a difficult time. Be brave because this relationship means a lot. Sending you love and hope.

    Dee

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    • Posted

      Hi dee, I sent her a message today about this, she said something about her life going in another direction and doing more for her boys to be secure with their lives. Does that give her the right to ignore her friends?

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    • Posted

      Ask her outright. Do you still wish to maintain a friendship with me or not. people's lives do go in other directions but that doesn't necessarily mean excluding long term friends. Having said this, sometimes people want to avoid telling the truth that is why I suggest being direct. Good luck.

      dee61180

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    • Posted

      hi dee, i have asked her in the past but she skirted round the subject, i asked again and she said no, but then wouldn't speak to me. i am dyspraxic and don't understand what i have done wrong!

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  • Posted

    Hi Sam please stop thinking you have done something wrong it sounds like your friend is just going in a different direction in life it's very harsh of her to just drop you but their will be a time when she wants you back.in the meantime is it possible you could branch out and make some new friends I know it's hard but worth a try you may find some new friends on here.kind thoughts and hugs x

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    • Posted

      hi tez, i remember your name from ages ago! it seems a stupid thing to blame myself but i have depression which i have had for a long time. i also have dyspraxia so making friends is not easy, neither is the change. i just feel broken really. i am not overly concerned that she is getting a new life, that i wish her well with. it's more that she began ignoring me more and more and rubbed it in that she has children. it has made me feel like shxx. comments like that make me feel saddened and depressed. i feel upset writing this!

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  • Posted

    Hi Sam - if she is choosing to move on then there's not much you can do about it - except prevent yourself from falling into the spiral of self blame. A long term friendship like yours is hard to shrug off. Give her space and wait to see if she picks up where things left off. Don't sabotage yourself with self-blame.

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