I guess I need help?

Posted , 4 users are following.

I've been drinking for about 25 years now, since the age of 15 or 16. At the moment I hold down a full time job which I drive to and from. I'm good at my job and only a couple of people know I drink, Occupational Health Doctor being one.

On the way to work I have a pint of cider 7.5%, at 10am another, lunchtime another and driving home another. When I get home in the evening I have maybe 1 or 2 more. I am never drunk, never feel that my responses are impaired and this posting is well punctuated and has no spelling errors (I think).

I've done rehab, 5 days really helps, not. I've recently been in a psych unit for 12 days and because it was regimented and structured I didn't even think about drinking to start with. Then as soon as I was allowed un-escorted walks I found the nearest corner shop and bought a bottle. That was after a week of being sober. I have just started to go back to my local alcohol service but almost feel blackmailed by them. They are talking about writing to my employer, I have to operate hand held machinery and drive tractors etc.

I know I have to stop but the thought terrifies me almost. Alcohol has been my crutch for soo long now and I just can't do it on my own.

I honestly don't know what to do next. :? :cry:

0 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • Posted

    Your managing to get through life in the only way you know how.....dont fret
  • Posted

    Hi There,

    Im sorry, but I have to disagree.

    Whilst I truly sympathise for ur problem, ur putting yourself and others you work with at risk. U may not feel ur responses are impaired, but they are.

    You might think it unfair of the alcohol service threatening to tell ur employer, but they have to think of ur safety and that of others. Especially as u operate machinery and drive such vehicles as tractors.

    To be blunt - how would u feel if u injured someone? It just doesn`t bear thinking about.

    Please take the help and advice from the alcohol service. I can appreciate how extremely difficult ur situation is, specially if uve used alcohol for so long, but, uve no option. You either have to get help, or stop working, at least for the time being.

    Take Care


  • Posted

    Hi, Thanks for replying. I know that Jackie's option is the easiest by far but I guess Lindy's has been the honest and sensible one. I would be devastated if I hurt someone because of my drinking sad .

    I have an appointment with the alcohol service this week and I suppose will have to try and work with them. Apart from anything I can see I am becoming more dependant, not just psychologically but physically as well now. Having said that yesterday (saturday) I only had 4 pints of white cider, for me that's great. Today, I know it's only 6am but I've got a pepsi not a proper drink.

    I have been thinking of taking a break from work. I feel bad though because I had to take 10 weeks off recently due to illness/madness and have only just returned fulltime. I've heard comments that I'm just taking the piss and a waste of space. I don't want to be thought of like that.

    Once again thanks for replying. I have a lot of thinking to do.

    :ta: scrumpy :devil: :ale: :rose:

  • Posted

    Hi Scrumpy,

    You`ve taken the first step. Admitting need help and seeking it. So well done to u .

    If u are actively seeking help for ur problem, I believe ur work has to support u. Stuff what other people say. The world is full of people who are quick to judge and pass comment on other peoples lifes. Your making moves to help yourself and are aware of how problematic ur drinking has become, and that is a very very positive thing. If u need to take the time off, then do so.

    I hope I didn`t offend u with my honesty Scrumpy, I in no way intended that. I just believe in giving honest, straight advice or opinions. There are times when we all need that to give us a push in the right direction.

    I wish u the best of luck.

    Take Care


  • Posted

    Hi Scrumpy

    I applaud you for seeking help. My husband suffers from Chronic Pancreatitis because of alcoholism. He was a truck driver and many times was drunk whilst driving. This was before I met him. When I met him it was after he had been homeless, jobless and in hospital, barely alive. He had been off the drink and almost healthy when I met him 3 years ago. We got married 18 months ago and the drinking started again! He has since lost 2 jobs and, at the age of 50, has lost his driver's licence and now has diabetes because his pancreas has stopped producing insulin, he is also underweight.

    Last night he went to an AA meeting for the first time and tonight we are going to an \"open\" meeting so that I can go along with him. I am hoping that by him stopping drinking - we will get at least an extra couple of years together.

    Good luck Scrumpy!

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