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I've been drinking for about 25 years now, since the age of 15 or 16. At the moment I hold down a full time job which I drive to and from. I'm good at my job and only a couple of people know I drink, Occupational Health Doctor being one.
On the way to work I have a pint of cider 7.5%, at 10am another, lunchtime another and driving home another. When I get home in the evening I have maybe 1 or 2 more. I am never drunk, never feel that my responses are impaired and this posting is well punctuated and has no spelling errors (I think).
I've done rehab, 5 days really helps, not. I've recently been in a psych unit for 12 days and because it was regimented and structured I didn't even think about drinking to start with. Then as soon as I was allowed un-escorted walks I found the nearest corner shop and bought a bottle. That was after a week of being sober. I have just started to go back to my local alcohol service but almost feel blackmailed by them. They are talking about writing to my employer, I have to operate hand held machinery and drive tractors etc.
I know I have to stop but the thought terrifies me almost. Alcohol has been my crutch for soo long now and I just can't do it on my own.
I honestly don't know what to do next. :? :cry:
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