I had sex for the first time and ended up with genital herpes.

Hello Abby,

I'm sure it sucks that your first experience should end up like this!! I can also totally understand how confused and frustrated you are. You totally did the right thing to post your comment and pour out your feelings here.

I was diagnosed with HSV1 about 2 weeks ago. I guess it's less bitchy than HSV2 but all the same it's the same virus.

I was initally divastated and it seemed like my life had come to an end. I went through a series of emotions and I was really pessimistic about my future and posed the same questions about how this will affect my lifestyle, having kids and my self confidence and esteem. I actually thought about divorcing my husband as he knew he had it and kept it away from me supposedly that he was afraid I'd leave him. After my rage had subsided and I had read alot on the net and on this forum, I'm coming to terms with my situation and have actually given my husband a last chance (he will not get any if he blows this one up)

What I'm hinting at is, it gets better. Don't stress yourself over something you can't change. It will rather cause more outbreaks if you do. Read alot about it, there are some useful tips you can get online and some bull too(don't let it get to you Eat healthy lots of vegetables and fruits to build up your immune system. I'm actually following the advice of one member on this forum who takes daily pineapples. She said it works wonders for her and eliminates outbreaks. So I'm trying that too but with pineapple juice. It's cheap and more to that it tastes good

I also read a soak in warm water with salt or baking soda helps but I don't know. In a situation like this I guess there is no harm in trying out different things provided they don't have any side effects. You can of course get prescriptions from your doctor.

About children, you definitely can have kids! You will just have to inform your doctor about your situation and unless you have an outbreak just before birth, you can safely have your kid. A C-section is carried out in case you have an outbreak just before giving birth. I'm sure your doctor will brief you on all of that when the time comes

Consider herpes as an inconvenience just some slight temporary disconfort. Hopefully things work well with your current boyfriend. In case they don't, just be honest to future partners and come clean if you think there is potential for a deeper relationship. If not there is no need informing the person that you have herpes. Just yesterday I told a good male friend of mine about my situation and you know what he said, he said "Is that it? You have herpes and so what? I'd totally f*ck you even knowing this" We don't have that kind of relationship but he meant what he said. Like it wouldn't bother him if we were romantically involved. There are alot of people out there with herpes living their life normally. If a person genuinely likes you, they will get pass this "inconvenience" as I put it. If they can't then you don't want to be with them trust me. There are more serious illnesses out there and you will want to be with someone who will stick by you during the good times and the bad. There are alot of people out there who don't give a damn about herpes. You should also fortify yourself for situations in which people who reject you because of this. Be ready to shrug it off and move on Don't forget you are a beautiful person inside out and the right person will see that.

Open up to those close to you and whom you trust. You can imagine how relieving it is to just put it out there. Those who are close to you and love you will understand and will not judge you. They will look out for you and you will not have to go around carrying this.

As i mentioned earlier, I was diagnosed 2 weeks ago and I've accepted the situation and there are actually days I forget I have it. I mourned my herpes free body for some days and then I got over it. Lingering just makes it seem worse than it actually is. If you treat herpes like a bitch, I guess it will treat you like a bitch. Treat it like nothing then it becomes nothing.

Stay strong and just live your life. You have a long way to go and you definitely do not want it to be a hard way. I'm sure there will be more serious things to come than this so just put it in the recesses of your mind.

Keep in mind, you are not alone and if you feel you need a listening ear don't hesitate to write to me

Hugs and lots of love

 

Hi Abby!

I also have it! well I have had cold sores only about twice..one time I also had itcy kind of sore spots on my vagina which I am thinking must have been herpes also..really sucks..but I have only had that once..so I have no idea what type I have or first got passed on with! I am assuming it was one and I obviously passed it on to the other area by touching the area with unclean hands so one thing I will say is if you do break out in sores really try to avoid touching other areas to avoid it from spreading! wash your hands with anti-bacterial soap regularly! however you never mentioned that you had any sores? so you cant be sure that is is herpes..herpes are small blister/spot like sores in the genital area and then ofcourse you get the other type which is cold sores! so just dont panic too much yet! you may just be having pain because it was your first time? could you please be more precise about what the pain is like so we could help you out more? was there a tingly/itchy sensation? can you feel any bumps around your outer labia? if so these are the sings of genital herpes! I am really sorry if you did catch it your first time! I have no idea how I caught mine! I have always had protected sex and then one day I just randomly came out with the symptoms! but that is the thing it is not always caught by sex! you may have already carried the disease but having sex can flare it up! catching the disease through child hood is a common occurance through kissing family and things like that! also if you did catch it from your bf did he give you oral sex? well if so then that is really the only way you could have caught it from him if you had protected sex! and even though he didnt have a cold sore at the time he may have been in the 'shedding' phase as they call it which is when the virus is active but the cold sore has not yet broke out yet, so the virus can still be passed on! 

I understand it has hard to come to turns with! just dont bother yourself too much about it or jump to conclusions until you are certain it is herpes! if so then I am very sorry but trust me it isnt so bad! it cannot be cured but it can certainly be dealt with! there are lots of creams and remedies out there to speed up the healing process! also dont be ashamed as around 80% of people actually carrry the virus! many people just dont show symptoms so dont actually know they carry it! just because you show symptoms dont feel down about yourself or ashamed! it was your first time! yes it was an unfortunate thing but it doesnt change who you are or your ability to get on with life! herpes usually does not reoccur often in most people so dont worry! there are certain triggers for it that can lead to it reoccuring such as stress, hormone changes, certain foods, lacking in vitamins and being 'run down' like when your immune system is repressed. so if you can identify your triggers outbreaks can be avoided alot easier! don't worry about future partners or anything like that! if someone loves you and accepts you they wont judge you for it! no one should be judged for catching herpes! I know it may feel 'dirty and shameful' but please remember it is none of that! it is a very common virus and very easy to catch! so please don't let it make you feel ashamed or embarrassed! when you find the right partner they will understand and you will feel comfortable to openly tell them about it! it doesnt effect your ability to have children or anything like that although it could be passed on at birth if you were currently having an outbreak of genital herpes! although that is something to discuss with your doctor at the time and not to worry about until the time comes huni! so really honestly,I know its not nice and it can be a pain! but it could be worse! it should effect much with your daily life or your future so please dont worry about that! like I said reccurances arent often very many in a year! and once you know what triggers it you can control that to lessen reccurances!

I really really hope this helps a bit! All the best hun, and please try not to worry too much about it! I am sorry to hear your story! but you will come to terms with it sooner and easier than you think! and yes even though its not nice. you will find that it isn't so hard to live with as you may think! it is just scary at first! I really hope you will feel better soon!

I'm in ur shoes. My bf & I have been together for almost 10 months. We don't use protection, but we're monogomous & planning to get married. It wasn't that important to us. Well 3 days ago I started itching. Then my body got sore. I had one bump on my labia but it didn't hurt like they do now. My gyno said its herpes & I broke down in the doctors office. I would have rathered anything but this. Something with a cure... I use baby powder in my panties but honestly, I don't think its helping. My bf rubbed aloe on my vagina last night & when I woke up this morning I peed & it hurt like hell. It was stinging so terribly... if u find any remedies to help ease the pain, please respond

Hey,

I completely understand how you feel.

About a week and a half ago, I went to a party and had a little too much to drink. I started dancing w this guy and kept on drinking. Eventually, I blacked out. The guy I as dancing w took me to a car and raped me in the back seat. A couple of days later, I started experiencing bumps that seemed like razor burns so I didn't really think too much about it until it got a whole lot worse and extremely uncomfortable. A bunch of blisters started breaking out and I went to my doctor and I was diagnosed w herpes. I was experiencing a lot of emotions. I cried, I was mad, and it is extremely hard to come to terms with. I still completely haven't. I was worried about my relationship, my future kids, and all of that. I did so much research and that's how I came across this website. I read all the comments on this one and it makes me feel a little better that there is people out there who have similar stories and advice and all that. I really needed this help, and it saved me from doing something completely idiotic and I just honestly want to say thank you.