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I'm a 29 year old male who lives with his parents.
December 10 I got full blown side effects of my anal fissure. I wasn't able to see the doctor until December 16 and had my mom with me when I saw the doctor (I know it sounds weird that my mom would be with me but I hardly ever see the doctor). He says it's an anal fissure and gave me a prescription for a cream and recommend I put a tuck each time I put new cream.
When I came home along with the new cream I picked up from the pharmacy I forgot some of the directions the doctor said and my mom said I just have to be on a diet. I asked her specifically what the diet is supposed to be and all she said is I have to just eat less then I usually eat.
I saw the doctor a 2nd time on December 31 and asked if I'm still on my diet, I said "yes" and he recorded himself saying "patient is still on his diet."
I was suffering from the week of January 15 and on January 16 I tried to call the clinic hoping I can talk to my doctor on the phone and they said I can't but that I can talk to the nurse who works for my doctor who has all his notes on me.
It turns out I was supposed to have 2 warm baths each day, have 25 grams of fiber each day, and used the cream and tucks 3 times a day which is now changed to 2 times a day. So the past few weeks before January 16 that I kept putting the cream and wondered why it wasn't healing now I know why it wasn't healing.
I was really angry at myself for not asking the doctor to write the directions down the first time I saw him so I wouldn't have depended on my mom who gave me misinformation.
So I kept following the new instructions, and then January 22 I found out the wet wipes I've been using to clean my butt called Continell has chemicals that can cause rashes, anal bleeding, and even anal fissures and other bad stuff(to be specific I use those wet wipes to clean my butt everytime after I poop just in case if I wasn't clear enough), so I stopped using those wipes and started using Preparation H wipes because their is no chemicals in them.
I saw the doctor on Monday(January 25) and asked him a bunch of questions, I also said my anus hurts everytime when I'm at work, he says it's the cream and tucks doing it and wants me to stop using them. I went with his new instructions and 11 hours later I felt extreme pain, I felt day one side effects of anal fissure. I then realized I forgot to tell the doctor about my use of Continell wet wipes that I've been using December 10 thru January 22. If I told him that he would have given me new instructions.
On Tuesday I called the nurse and she said she'll send an email to him. I had only one day of cream left and I needed a refill. When I talked to the doctor on Monday(January 25) he accuse me of being obsessive so on Tuesday I assume he won't allow me to have a refill on the cream.
Tuesday(January 26) I was really depressed, and I typed up a suicide letter to my parents. I had 3 reasons why I want to commit suicide, but the anal fissure is the number 1 reason. The other 2 reasons; I have a problem in trying to get a driver's license and the other reason is I'm a gay man in the closet who is about to turn 30 and NEVER did anything sexual to a male before. It doesn't have to be sex I would still be happy if I at least get to kiss an attractive guy. When I was 19 I felt upset about not getting a boyfriend but I told myself "you're young so you still have a lot of time left," well I'm about to turn 30 and now I'm too old and too ugly to get a boyfriend.
If I didn't have an anal fissure, yes I'll still be a little depressed about being too late for me to get with a guy, but I won't be depressed enough to stop working on my novel. My anal fissure caused me to stop working on my novel because it made my depression to the extreme.
My parents told me that I shouldn't kill myself and I felt like I needed to at least wait out one more day.
Late on Tuesday night I found this website https://patient.info/forums/discuss/how-to-cure-anal-fissure-quickly--270871
On Wednesday morning I had the Coconut oil bath.
Wednesday early afternoon I got a call from a nurse saying my doctor heard about my message and allowed me a refill of the cream so I feel a little better. I decided to not follow that blog.
Today is January 28(the day before my 30th birthday), I went poop and I got really scared. There is no blood in my stool but my anus hurt a little.
I'm really really scared.
Back on Tuesday(January26) my mom scheduled the appoitment with a specialist, and the earliest they can make it is February 12, but I don't know if I can wait that long. The thing that annoyed me is a week before today I told her she can schedule the appoitment anyway because I don't know what my doctor will tell me, and she waited until January 26 to do this.
My mom on December 10 recommnded me Continell wet wipes me for to use, and then on December 16 she gave me misinformation on what the doctor said, and she waited a really long time to schedule an appoitment with a specialist. I will admit I should have told the doctor to write down the directions but I'm still angry at my mom and at myself too.
If I lose my job before February 12 I would lose my insurance, then I won't be able to see the specialist. I hope the pain of my anal fissure doesn't force me to quit my job.
My mom was only with me the first time I saw the doctor, she wasn't with me the next couple of times for anyone who is thinking it's wierd.
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