I hate myself

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I hate my self, I feel stupid ,hopeless, useless and I really hate my self for that.I ruin everything. I’m not good at talking and expressing my self . I hate people I wish that I could live my life without interacting with anyone and I feel every one hates me 

im not confident , I never speak my mind, share my thoughts because im afraid I’ll be judge, I hate people judgment , I always agree with the other part, I feel that they are better so they are not wrong.

I feel hated especially these days I feel like everyone hates me, even from some family members but maybe thats just a feeling

I feel like i failed as a big sister to my younger sister because im so stupid, I feel like I'm undependable, it hurts me to think she can't talk to me about her problems and it hurts more if she did and I couldn't help her/comfort her because I just suck. I cant get the thought or fact that im stupid out of my head and i feel like it made me more stupid .I feel that i can't focus during lectures and i cant focus on reading anything and I feel like crying a lot  

I’ve heard the word stupid a lot  * I once cried cuz someone called me stupid in a game” i know this sound stupid but I cant help it, maybe because it was the first time a stranger said it to me,but it was like a confirmation of my stupidness and uselessness

I would cry after a gathering with people because I did something stupid and I won't get over it for weeks. I think sometime I avoid hanging out with my friends. it would kill me if for example my sister says her friend wants my number to ask me about something 

I worry and over think too much. im tired of this over thinking , I wish I wouldn't care about anything, not about what I will say , what they are thinking of me , wish I was confident to speak up for myself. I want to live at ease.

Im 20 years old female

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  • Posted

    Why do you think you hate yourself,how long have you been feeling like this?

    Do you live totally on your own, that is to say that no one lives with you i.e. you still live at home, or do you have your apartment or comes to see you; perhaps more importantly are you working at the moment?

    What do you feel that you are doing that is so bad;has anyone mentioned anything to you, particulary your close relations. You mentioned that you feel that you have been silly or at least overhead a similar term; how do you know that they comment was aimed at you.

    I think you need to move in to a seperate social circle and effectively start from scratch.  That is not easy for someone who is not naturally outgoing, but joining a club or something similar would breakdown the barriers.   Do you have any hobbies that you could engage in and therefore integrate with people more easily?

    I had a colleague who had a very nervouse,introspective and self critical and judging herself.  In Paty's case the problems were compounded by the fact that she had a stammer which she had from the time she first learned to speak; she was very aware of it, which actually compounded the problem. In fact when she first started work she was frightened of answering the telephone in case she stammered during the call. 

    It was fortunate that it was a small, low voloume branch of a bank and so there was someone there when she was making/receiving a call, or at the enquiry counter.  Gradually her confidence grew to be able to run a till and no longer needed someone with her at the Enquiry Counter

    The best thing that happened to her was that she developed an interest in badminton, and by this time she was in her late 20s. She was still very close to her sister and they used to go on holiday together, although in part that was to do with Patsy's insecurity on travelling alone. 

    Her speach improved through the lowering of anxiety, but will always have a stammer since that is something she was born with, but has learned to control it by changing her breathing pattern when she was about to stammer. Effectively putting a comma in to the sentance when she was about to stammer, making it appear to be pause before she moved along the sentance.

    With the stammer partly sorted that increased her self-confidence, and certainly a lot more secure than she was when I first met her at the age of 16.   If the truth be known I was really in love with her, but never told her, mainly because I thought she would run away.  Ironically that is exactly what did happen, as I was too distant .   She had gone on holiday (with I assumed her sister or another of her close friends) with another person, who actually truned out to be male. In the end they actually married.

    Although it nearly killed me (emotionally) to lose her both as a friend and someone I actually loved,  I was happy for her as she found love, and it totally wiped out the insecurity situation as she had to mix with other people more. 

    You refer to your younger sister, has she mentioned anything to you in the way you come over to her?

    As I have mentioned elsewhere, depression is like many health conditions where you can talk yourself in to the situation which then gets out of hand.  In my case it is epilepsy.  If I worry too much about having a fit, I can actually "talk myself" in to a seisure.    A similar thing can happen to young girls who are so desperate to have a child that they can develop what is known as "Phantom Pregnancy Syndrome".

    The condition means that the girl can actually show all the signs of being pregnant from the morning sickness right through to the apparent "bump", and until the advent of Ultra-sound which can show a fetous, was often the only sign of her having a baby.  Such was the psycology that in extreme cases the girl could actually go in to a false labour as if she were to deliver the baby- of course there was nothing to deliver.

    Stop talking yourself in to a corner and try to meet more people, particularly if you work for a larger company where you can interact more easily. Are you worried about the fact your work is not to standard; even though it is?

    The more you talk to people and interact the easier it will become.

    Try to be postive and do not rush in to things, and try to avoid the "I need a 'shrink' " Approach as they can be very manipulative and make matters worse.

    Stay in contact on the board and I am sure that other people will be able to provide you with other ideas.


    Chris R



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    • Posted

      hey chris..thank you for writing to me, and thank you most for mentioning Paty story she is real inspiration 

      I live at home with my family, and im a college student…I hate myself because I feel like just a stupid useless person, how I just care too much about peoples opinion of me and how weak my personality is , of course there is times I'm feeling good but when something happen and I feel bad about myself I just keep on thinking about it for weeks..right now I feel like interacting with people is the problem, whenever I'm in social gathering or anything I tend to hate my self more after it. I worry I embarrassed myself or I’ve said something that might let them think im stupid, I really do lack confidence. 

      I mainly heard it from family, yes they don't mean anything but maybe I just took to the heart and believed it  I’ve developed some sort of hate for my big sister..when I was young she used to call me stupid  and that I let people fool me same goes to my mom she would make me feel bad about my friends and that they control me,like I cant stand for myself and I follow everything they say which is not true, true I might got fooled when I was a kid but now im like cautious and doubt a lot , and I’ve developed hate for her too..I know that maybe thats the way they are, like my sister she's just like that and she doesn't mean anything but it really would affect me that time, her opinions used to matter.and I dont want to be like this , who would hate family. I do goof around in home maybe its my fault that they can't take me seriously. sometimes I feel like I'm just born stupid.

      thank you I really appreciate your words 

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  • Posted

    It's very sad but you have to stand up and help your self to get over.

    Be stronger and no one is better than others unless if you surrendered yourself to the others to destroy you.

    The power is in your hands, so

    1. Fight for your self

    2. Don't let others put you down

    3. Believe in yourself

    4. Don't sit down to wait others help

    5. Stand up to help your self

    6. Don't wait from the others to make you happy

    7. Teach your self how to be happy without people

    8. Life is very short don't waste it on sad feeling etc.

    9. Challenge yourself and who are surrounded you to prove your value.

    10. Trust in God

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  • Posted

    You put other people to much on a pedestal like they do not fart and shyt just like everyone else...And if someone call you names 1000000 times that doesen't mean anything.It's what you belive shaping your reality,the outside judgement is just an illusion of how others would like to put you down so they can get ahead.Don't be "stupid" and i do not mean to insult you but if you think life is rainbows and sunshines you need to wake up to the reality.Some people are mean,scumbags.You should not waste time with such bullshyt and think for yourself,build your life like you want it to be,not what the world tells you.Wish you the best.
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    • Posted

      I do know life is not full of rainbows sadly and there is scumbag , mean and horrible people that judge on anything badly and I don't want to be judge by them, I know it doesn't mean anything but it would still affect and hurt. thank you so much
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  • Posted

    I have a lot of self hate too.  I try to not let other people's bull get to me.  Spark, I'd love to talk to you sometime.  My son is your age and has some of the same issues you/we do.  My father-in-law says I don't hate myself, that I'm insecure.  Real helpful that was, not!
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    • Posted

      I too try to not care about anyone or what they would think but it is too hard..I really do feel like a useless person but if talking would help i'll do my best!
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