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I hate myself so much. All of myself I don't like one bit.

Posted , 7 users are following.

sara42086
sara42086

I am a waste of person. I was a mistake I should have never existed. I have no talent, no confidence, no special attribute and I am just so bad at everything. I just moved to the UK, and I have no friends yet. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I miss my friends from Romania. I took a bunch of tests to see if i am depressed and, they all said the same thing; I am. I just can't stop thinking about how stupid and worthless I am. My friends always say that there is something special in all of us, but honestly I am the one exeption, When I was little I was a perfect girl: Pretty, smart, confident, and nobody told me what to do. Everyone LOVED me. Then something happened and I lost all of that. I am now a lazy, passionless, worthless, thing that really shouldn't exist. I have thought about suicide multiple times and I don't know what wuold be better; getting help or just stopping all of this. I could easily just exit this world and perhaps everything would be better. 

1 like, 15 replies

15 Replies

  • neil91349
    neil91349 sara42086

    Posted

    Hi Sara

    How your feeling now I’ve been there and it’s only temporary it will pass I promise.

    I feel like that most days but I know it’s depression and not me it’s an illness. Make sure you take your antidepressants they will work.

    You’ll find your way one day and smile again.

    Take care

    Neil

    • sara42086
      sara42086 neil91349

      Posted

      Is being happy all that worth it? Years of sadness just for one smile
  • nancy76309
    nancy76309 sara42086

    Posted

    I have these same thoughts almost word for word, and I imagine there are millions of us. Fortunately there is help; unfortunately it may not be instant relief. You must get help whether it be counseling or meds or both. No one else sees you the way you describe your self, and with a little help you won't either.

    • sara42086
      sara42086 nancy76309

      Posted

      I just don't know if it is worth all the effort just to feel a little better. I will try tho. Thanks

  • hypercat
    hypercat sara42086

    Posted

    Hi it is actually much harder to kill yourself than you realise and no painless methods either.  

    The negative thoughts you have are the depression talking.  The feelings are real but the thoughts aren't.  With treatment and help you will return to the person you were before but it will take some work on your part and determination that you are going to get better. 

    You are very young and life is about change so things will change for the better for you. Seek treatment,  have hope,  and hang on.  We have all been or are where you are now.  One day you will look back at this time in your life and be very grateful for your life.  Trust me.  I know what I am talking about.  Things are going to be ok for you. 

     

    • sara42086
      sara42086 hypercat

      Posted

      Thank you, I will try to wait till i feel better, however long that will take ;(
  • hypercat
    hypercat sara42086

    Posted

    Hi it is actually much harder to kill yourself than you realise and no painless methods either.  

    The negative thoughts you have are the depression talking.  The feelings are real but the thoughts aren't.  With treatment and help you will return to the person you were before but it will take some work on your part and determination that you are going to get better. 

    You are very young and life is about change so things will change for the better for you. Seek treatment,  have hope,  and hang on.  We have all been or are where you are now.  One day you will look back at this time in your life and be very grateful for your life.  Trust me.  I know what I am talking about.  Things are going to be ok for you. 

     

    • hypercat
      hypercat

      Posted

      Sorry didn't mean to post this twice.

       

  • Lilly10
    Lilly10 sara42086

    Posted

    Dont ever say You were a mistake, you are offeding God, you are his creation, how then can you be worthless? God made you for a purpose. I want you to pray to God, talk to him like you talk to your friends. Please do it so he can make you feel better
    • neil91349
      neil91349 Lilly10

      Posted

      Hi Lilly

      Please don’t push your faith on to other people! most of us have common sense and dont believe in fiction and won’t help anyone who has an illness.

  • Manyo
    Manyo sara42086

    Posted

    Hi Sarah

    I have been where you are, I saw myself as ugly, overweight, not intelligent, boring, no friends and had nothing going for me. I considered suicide 3 times but never did it

    I've had depression for 3 years now and am on meds, sometimes they work sometimes they don't.

    We see ourselves a certain way but others see is differently we are beautiful people inside, we all are.

    From thinking bad about myself and disliking everything about me. And people for years saying Nasty things about me, 2 weeks ago I had a big comedy Show and i was the main act, everyone loved me and told me how great I am, a few years Ago I would never have thought I could have done this but I did.

    We are loved by many and trust me I have been where you are and like me you will get through this.

    Take care and sending love xx

    • sara42086
      sara42086 Manyo

      Posted

      Thankyou so much Manyo, this really helped I guess I'll just wait till im not sad anymore or take pills. <3

    • Manyo
      Manyo sara42086

      Posted

      One day you won't be sad or feeling depressed as you now feel, it may take a short while but you'll certainly get there I'm certain of it, but once there make sure you stay on top of it.

      like me, you need to take it a day at a time. There is no magic overnight cure, once you start to feel better you can start to go out and meet people and before you know it you will look back and see how far you've come.

      Sending hugs (((x)))

  • phillip09746
    phillip09746 sara42086

    Posted

    I have been exactly where you are, and I wish someone had given me this advice, years ago: Don’t wait for things to get better. Immediately find a doctor to help you get relief. People like you and I have minds that don’t work properly, so we mistakenly think that we are worthless, talentless losers. The opposite is usually the case. You need a doctor to help you clear the fog from your perception. Until you have done this, don’t make any attempt to trust your own self-evaluations. Once the fog of depression and anxiety has been lifted with the help of medicine and counseling, take another look at yourself. Then, and only then, will you be in acceptable condition to judge yourself. If you don’t like what you see, use your newfound perception and energy to make changes. Please believe me, I have been at this for over a decade and I know how hard it is to be in your condition.
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