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I hate what alcohol does to me. I know I'm addicted. I have two great kids with a constant pressure around me. I don't know why I do it. I do it in the morning before work. Sometimes to the point of not being able to go in. I do it behind everyone's back. I hate myself at the moment because I feel like I let everyone down. I don't want to cope with things but don't know what I'm coping with. My fiancé asks "what are you drinking for"? I don't know the answer. I'm not super depressed. I don't have big issues. I just don't get it. I hate how I feel like I need it. Like medicine. Anyone out there that can help? I've even called in for in treatment help but am worried how it effects our lives for 2 months.
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