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This is sort of difficult to explain, but I will try to the best of my ability. Every day, whether be at night when I'm going to bed, or during the day when I'm doing schoolwork, I have these very violent and frightening thoughts. They are usually somewhere along the lines of "you should kill yourself right now. it's an emergency. you have to, right now", or when I'm walking down a busy road, I feel extremely compelled to jump in front of the fastest moving car that I see. When this happens, I start panicking. Sweating, shallow breathing, increased heart rate, all of it. Sometimes I just start crying because I don't know what is happening and I don't know what to do. I've never been officially diagnosed with any type of anxiety disorder, and I've been hospitalized once for a suicide attempt. I've never had these types of thoughts up until recently, and I don't know how to control them. I feel like I'm losing control of my own mind and it's terrifying. If anyone has any suggestions on what I should do, I'd very much appreciate it. Thank you.
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