I have anorexia and need to gain weight but my sister is ruining everything
Posted , 5 users are following.
Last year, my sister and I both ate very unhealthily. We both ate a ton of junk food and loads of fat. I was ok because my body has a fast metabolism and I gained weight (quite a lot) but I was still skinny. My sister on the ither hand got a bit chubby. She had huge thighs and while she wasn't exactly obese she was pushubg it a bit. Around octobre 2015, my sister decided she wanted to lose weight. She went on a dietbut didn't tell anyone about it. She had just started at a new school and so she didn't come home for lunch anymore while my brother and I did. She always took lots of stuff to school but chucked it away. She didn't eat breakfast and for supper she often pretended she was ill or ate very slowly. Basically she was starving herself. I didn't notice for a long time and went ln pretty happy with myself. I was eating less junk food because I wanted to be healthy but I was eating well and looked good. Then, I went off on a camp for a week. When I came back, my sister was in hospital because she had lost so much weight. That really scared me. She spent a few days there. When she came back, she claimed she was over everything and that she was going to stop. But I watched her like a hawk and I nloticed she still ate nothing for breakfast and chucked away her lunch. I started dieting myself, although I didn'tneed to. At first it wasn't so bad but I became obsessed with it. There is so much competition between me and my sister, for school, friends, sport, everythkng. I was terrified she was going to be thinner than me and therefore more beautiful. I started eating nothing all day and doing loads of sport. In the evening I only ate exactly what my sister ate. I tracked how much exercise she did and tried to work out exactly how much she had been eating. I was addicted to eating less and exercisibg lore than her. I didn't even want to lose weight I just didn't want her to be better than me. I ended up in hospital for a week. Now I'm out again and I need to gain weight but I can't. I can't let go of the competing with my sister. I have to eat less than her. The problem is, at the moment my sister's weight is fine, but I am seriously underweight. I I don't gain weight by thursday, which is when I have to see the doctor, I might end up in hospital again, but I can't bring myself to eat! I see my sister eating nothing and cutting up her food really small and drinkkng lots so thst it looks like she's eating and she isn't, and I just refuse to eat myself. I know I need to but somehow I just can't. It's ruining my health and my happiness. The only thing I can think of is how many calories I have eaten vs how many calories she has eaten. How can I stop it?
1 like, 3 replies
harriet_34405 andrea23764
Posted
katlouise1989 andrea23764
Posted
I'm so sorry to hear about this. It sounds like both you and your sister have some difficulties going on. I know the prospect of hospital sounds terrifying, but have you talked to your doctor about your difficulties? Disordered eating and /or eating disorders don't have a quick fix. It isn't a case of "stopping it", there are other things to consider like why you are reacting to life in this way.
I would definitely recommend talking to your doctor about your difficulties. I know you are scared about being hospitalised again, but remember that stopping eating isn't the reason you are like this.
Have you spoken to anyone else? Sometimes it is helpful to go to support groups or speak to helplines. I am not sure how old you are, but beat the eating disorder charity run online groups for people under 18 as well as those over. They also have a young persons helpline.
Whilst I can offer a lot of advice based on experience, I think the most important thing you do at this stage is explore talking therapies so you can get to the root of this. I would also talk to your GP about family therapy as it sounds like there is a lot more going on.
Try and remain in that positive mindset that you want to get better.
karina53122 andrea23764
Posted
It seems you and I have the exact same problem!
The only thing is we're both on opposite ends of the spectrum... I'm your sister basically.
Ok, long story. I have been overweight most of my life and so I started dieting in October 2014- 16 and a half years old . Of course at first it was healthy and like most other diets. Exercising, eating salads, whatever. In my head I knew that if I succumbed to any junk food, I wouldn't go back to eating healthily (I learnt this from pre-attempted diets). So I restricted a lot. Until it became too much.
A lot of the attention was drawn to me, I had been overweight for such a long time, people started to congratulate me for my "success". I had a love/hate thing for the praise, I knew how I was doing it was wrong Working out continuously for 2-2.5 hours a day and eating nothing, so I tried to draw them away from the topic. Over time people noticed that I was going too far, by then it felt like it was too late in my head. Anyways.
No one noticed the drastic change in my younger sister over this time. They just focused on me, they were blinded and couldn't see how "contagious" this 'thing' really was.
My sister is competitive. I admire her for that. But some things are just not healthy to win. I noticed she started to get in bad moods when I chose the healthier version of anything. I was supported by doctors to eat plenty of healthy foods, instead of just eating junk food that my parents gave me to try and "fatten me up", this was so I could slowly tame, in a sense my eating disorder, by getting rid of some of the guilt (talents I was eating healthy, right?). And this only made her worse and hate me more.
She became addicted to food. Preparing high calorie recipes for everyone else, which was also terrible for me, seeing as I was trying to eat healthy in order to get over my disorder. She followed Instagram accounts about food, made recipe books you name it. Also to try and "cover up" that food, that she was in love with, was also her enemy.
Over time she too became under suspicion by my parents, but still has to cook our dinner (or she'll get extremely angry), and is aggressive when I choose not to have desert.
This is terrible for her health in its own right. But she doesn't know how it's affecting me. I'm not competitive over being skinnier than her. I just want to be happy with myself, and that's still pretty far away. But I'm learning to accept it.
She doesn't know how her "competition" is making it difficult for me to become healthy again. By surrounding me in bad foods, and being restrictive herself, it only adds to the progressive guilt of when I eat poorly. It just reminds my eating disorder that I've eaten "badly".
I guess, the best way to overcome thisin an ideal world, is to work together. If your competition with being skinnier than her is what brought this upon her, why not agree to eat the same things, and be HEALTHY together. Check up on each other. Then you'll know you're both being healthy.
Of course, this is ideal. Your eating disorders will become defensive and dispute the idea immediately, deep down (maybe not even that deep), you want to stay skinny, so you'll want to keep your diet a secret.
My suggestion is that you tell your parents without your sister knowing your thoughts, let them know that your eating disorders are affecting one another. Come to an agreement on how to better yourselves. You have to work together, let the weakness of what started your disorder become your guidance ??
Also, honestly, do strength training. You'll look fab and have lean body mass. Basically you'll be tiny but strong. Takes a lot of motivation though (but then again, so do eating disorders...) 😂 Hope you get better ??