I have been depressed for several year's. Losing my will to fight any longer.

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I have no doubt I have suffered from depression my entire life. I am now 45 year's old. I lost my father a year ago. He was not only my Dad, he was also my best friend. We would talk at least once a day if not more. I have had depression ruin several relationship's in my life due to self medication with alcohol, and being miserable all the time. I not only have lost my Dad, my fiance sold my ring and left me recently as well. I have never felt so alone. The only thing that keeps me here is my three beautiful children whom I love with all my heart. Depression has all but ruined my relationship's with them as well. I have tried several different type's of medication, only to find a negative response out of every single one. My anxiety is through the roof at all time's. I really need some help, and I don't know what to do. Any and all suggestion's would be greatly appreciated.



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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Oh Ryan this black cloud makes everything seem so bleak . You need someone to talk to because he venbafter the drink and tablets it’s all too much to cope with .why would any of us turn to the internet if we had any other option? You can talk to me any time
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  • Posted

    Hi Ryan, I hope you know that none of us are perfect.

    I've been depressed as long as I can remember so I know what you mean. I'm 48 and still learning how to be human. (Alcohol is also my friend and enemy)

    Medication - if you can find the right one - will take the edge off for you and give you space to think. I tried 4 different ones before the right one I have now. You know you have to give each one 8 weeks to work, yes? 

    Depression and anxiety are enough to deal with on their own, and you've had so much more to get your head around recently aswell. It's no surprise that you're struggling right now.

    Please be kind to yourself and maybe go back to the doctors? Are any of your kids old enough to talk to about stuff? 

    Sending you a big hug and hope you find a way to ease your mood soon x

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  • Posted

    Hi. We have all felt that black dog pulling at us at times. You are really.having a tough time. Anxiety and depression go hand in hand. Add the loss if your father it's hard for you r8ght now. I think trying a different med may be worth a shot. Also try counselling. You have been through a lot in life and loss seems to be something that has really hit you. We have all made mistakes but we can all.grow and learn from them. Like you said you have 3 beautiful children worth fighting for. Give the Drs a call and think of this as day 1 in feeling better. Take care. We are always here to talk to each other.

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  • Posted

    I'm pretty sure u hear this a lot but KEEP BUSY.. take those beautiful children to the park or somewhere just to get out the house go get some fresh air and be grateful that u are still here to care for your babies.. I'm sorry you've been through all of that I know how it feels to feel like your alone but keep pushing it will get better just have hope you will make it through this 

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  • Posted

    Ryan maybe is time to take over your life! Don’t let this depression destroys what u had now...pls be Be be strong u are much stronger than u think u are...if someone took your children away from u or trying to hurt them u will protect them...u never know u strong enough until someone u love get hurt.
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  • Posted


    It would seem drink is a problem with you. I would suggest you arrange to attend a course with AA you will find there local office on the web

    It can take several years to get over the loss of a close relative, if you have been unable to talk out the loss that can also be problematic. Have you any siblings or close family members you can talk to. You need to talk out not only the good times also the bad and remember those activities you used to do together. You may find that may work, although remember we are human and a hurt takes a long time to get over

    The loss of the women in your life will be a problem and I would imagine your children may feel their lives have been disrupted. This will need you address their loss and possible confusion, they may also need to talk to you.

    Depression can be caused by several problems that need to be addressed, the more stress you suffer the worse it can become. I was once told, give a person five problems to address that are mood changing it becomes fertile ground for a depression to grow, Two relationship, a death, drink and concern regarding your children may be making you sit up. Loosing your Fiance woul be the cherry on the top.

    You need to talk, if that is problematic a course of CBT may be the best way to go.

    Lonelyness can also be a problem and it will take time to get over a serious relationship, there are two and you need help to move on

    Look for diversions in your life where you will meet mixed company, I would suggest evening classes, for example Dancing that may help you push forward


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  • Posted

    hi ryan

    can i just say your will to live is strong because you found this sight where we can be supportive offer advice direct and listen in a non judgmental way and some of us have been their so we talk from experience not books .

    stay strong  put a happy picture on your fridge  or the back door it does not have to be a person it can be tree 

    waterfall a happy place for you just as a reminder that not everything is grey. 

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