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I have been diagnosed as having PTSD for nearly 2 years since being raped. I was abused as a child, my mother commited suicide when I was 9 and was abused again by an uncle when I was 11. So I think my coping mechanisms were always different, I never told anyone. I have always dealt with things on my own! Put up and shut up! I rebelled as a teenager not surprisingly and married someone completely unsuitable. Violent and abusive, 2 children later, I found the strength to leave him and to move past all of it. I had a partner a wonderful man willing to bring up my children as his own, to trust me completely and support me in any way that he could! 13 years passed and I thought I was a strong person. My grandmother had taken me in and brought me up after my mother died, when she was taken ill I did everything I could for her. After she died I sorted out her affairs, my father returned from abroad to assist me, it was during this time that one of his friends entered my bedroom while I was sleeping and raped me in my bed, I couldn't stop him and again told no-one reverting to my earlier childhood behaviour. Thinking I could protect those I cared aboutand deal with it on my own as I had always done before. So you can imagine the problems I have had with sleeping. The flashbacks are crippling TV programmes, the news, films, smells, comments can all start a flashback that leaves me barely able to breathe. Sometimes they come from nowhere they are maybe the worst as I don't understand them! My GP has been wonderful and arranged counselling and support for me she even understands the significence of anniverseries. Although life has improved somewhat through treatment I still experience periods of intense distress and anger amd agression although they are becoming less frequent as I am learning to deal with things more positively. However early days yet as I have some anniverseries coming up! To fellow sufferers, I wish you well and remember on your darkest days do not despair you are not alone! "seek help" It is there if you look for it!
[i:f9085b393c]This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience[/i:f9085b393c]
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