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I have been diagnosed as having PTSD for nearly 2 years ...

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Guest
Guest

I have been diagnosed as having PTSD for nearly 2 years since being raped. I was abused as a child, my mother commited suicide when I was 9 and was abused again by an uncle when I was 11. So I think my coping mechanisms were always different, I never told anyone. I have always dealt with things on my own! Put up and shut up! I rebelled as a teenager not surprisingly and married someone completely unsuitable. Violent and abusive, 2 children later, I found the strength to leave him and to move past all of it. I had a partner a wonderful man willing to bring up my children as his own, to trust me completely and support me in any way that he could! 13 years passed and I thought I was a strong person. My grandmother had taken me in and brought me up after my mother died, when she was taken ill I did everything I could for her. After she died I sorted out her affairs, my father returned from abroad to assist me, it was during this time that one of his friends entered my bedroom while I was sleeping and raped me in my bed, I couldn't stop him and again told no-one reverting to my earlier childhood behaviour. Thinking I could protect those I cared aboutand deal with it on my own as I had always done before. So you can imagine the problems I have had with sleeping. The flashbacks are crippling TV programmes, the news, films, smells, comments can all start a flashback that leaves me barely able to breathe. Sometimes they come from nowhere they are maybe the worst as I don't understand them! My GP has been wonderful and arranged counselling and support for me she even understands the significence of anniverseries. Although life has improved somewhat through treatment I still experience periods of intense distress and anger amd agression although they are becoming less frequent as I am learning to deal with things more positively. However early days yet as I have some anniverseries coming up! To fellow sufferers, I wish you well and remember on your darkest days do not despair you are not alone! "seek help" It is there if you look for it!

[i:f9085b393c]This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience[/i:f9085b393c]

1 like, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • Guest
    Guest

    Posted

    hello,

    you have indeed been very brave to carry on through so many troubles, and I hope the help you are getting from the GP and Counsellor is working. I have found my own treatment a roller coaster of ups and downs, as I am sure yours is too.

    My PTSD was caused by a totally different situation and I would not want to tell you the right or wrong way to deal with it.

    Good luck to you, and when those aniversaries come along remember how you sat down and typed up your words of advice to others, read the last sentence of your message, and take strength from it.

    Take care

    [i:c1f2b8db9c]This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience[/i:c1f2b8db9c]

  • Guest
    Guest

    Posted

    To Myself,

    I realise in my stronger moments that I will have to get through this episode in my life! For I have to look at it as just that! Don't get me wrong I have times where I reach the depths of despair and do not know where to turn! Yet as my mother committed suicide I know that I could not cause the same pain to those I would leave behind, So in these moments I call the samaritans, just to know there is someone willing to be there for you 24/7 in your darkest moments is helpful! As to PTSD there is no right way or wrong way, whatever the cause, you just have to find what works for you! You are right that it is a rollercoaster, a very scary one at that! I hope that you find the right help for you and the strength to see it through! I will try to remember my own advice, I have the feeling that I will need it soon!

    [i:cd68086126]This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience[/i:cd68086126]

  • Guest
    Guest

    Posted

    Hi there anon.

    there is always "someone" there, if we look isnt there. I am very, very fortunate to have my wife by my side, but even then can only say so much to her for fear of putting her under more pressure.

    You "talk" a lot of sense and reading between your lines there is a deap understanding, I bet you would make an excelent counsellor yourself.

    The message below says the person set up a web site to allow us to help each other, sounds good but doesnt say where to find it.

    This site is the best available and does offer an area of comfort.

    Take care

    [i:cdb615def0]This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience[/i:cdb615def0]

  • sam18386
    sam18386 Guest

    Posted

    Oh gosh that's terrible to read, I really feel for you as I do understand partly how you feel, someone attempted to rape me when I was 19 and certain things trigger feelings like you've been experiencing too, these men who do these things should have bits chopped off. i've had my dad die 3 years ago and I used to confide in him all the time, I can't tell him I've got ptsd now my mum has moved and I can't tell her either, I just feel alone and frightened, you've triggered some feelings that I'd buried where did you go for help?
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