I have been going through different forms of depression on and off for years now. How do I cope?
Posted , 5 users are following.
Okay. First time ever doing anything like this.
Wondering how to combat the loneliness. No hard feelings but please no responses suggesting I get involved in activities read affirmations etc I am not opposed to these things I do them actually but I need to handle it from the inside. Mentally. Internally. How do I go about this? I sleep all day when I don't have to work. Sometimes stay up at night watching TV or crying or taking as many Valium as I can without overdosing. It's strange because I crave a certain feeling. Xanax clonopin Valium, just to name a few. And then some weed and a glass of wine. I love that feeling. I am afraid though because I want to keep chasing that high/peace that I find what I'm there. I keep trying not to buy cannabis and not trick my doctor into giving me scripts (former pharmacy tech so I know what to say) and the drinking has gotten significantly better than its been in past years. But I still find it hard to not feel like I want to die most often.
Just venting. I want to keep chasing these feelings but I also do not want to risk overdosing.
0 likes, 11 replies
steven12310 darlz
Posted
Well you dont want to make it easy to give any advice or help do you. Well certainly the very worst thing you are doing is staying up all night. You are in a downward spiral no matter what you say so its really down to you what you want to do. It seems you havent made a decision about it other than come on this site and no matter what we say to you your not gonna listen. Having said that loneliness is easy to combat but you have several other things to deal with first and thats getting off the drugs, a bit of weed now and then is hardly a problem.
I am disabled thru MS and live alone so I kinda understand, but I rarely feel lonely and spend most of my time reading or watching films on utube. As you have alluded to the problem is mentally strengthening yourself to make the right decisions about your life. There is no easy answer for that, I was a soldier for 25 years so that stands me in good stead but I guess you are not gonna join up for that...lol
firstly you are going to have to bite the bullet and open up to your GP for help, next on the list will be some phsychiactric help, they will probably give you exercises for the brain to assist you (they dont all sit you in a couch and blame your mum or dad)
The things is it must be you to take the first steps
darlz steven12310
Posted
Thank you very much...seem to have hit the nail on the head. I am sorry for your current ailments.
I am a fighter absolutely just going through a tough time right now. Will take heed to all you've said.
Thanks again.
d11091 darlz
Posted
I take Seroplex and I got a dog. I too enjoy that peaceful feeling when you mix wine with weed or valium, so I know exactly what you mean. I only have a depressed day every so often now, like normal people. Seroplex was the only antidepressant I could tolerate. My dog gives me purpose, and loves me unconditionally. I have to walk him, so even if I'm down I have to get out of the house. I meet other people through him at the park or at obedience classes. I hope this helps.
darlz d11091
Posted
anti depressants didnt work for me but i am going to research seroplex.
Sincerely appreciate your response.
d11091 darlz
Posted
There was a journalist that wrote an article in the NY Times a couple of months back that said Seroplex changed his life. This was when I had been on it for a year. I don't cry every day now, maybe once every 3 months when an event has triggered it. Believe me, I tried them all, and used to tolerate Prozac. I thought it would work at this point in my life (10 years later), but I was wrong.
ihavenonickname darlz
Posted
Hi Darlz,
You really do not want to change do you...you just don't want to overdose?
Write when you hit botttom and the only place left to go it up.....
darlz ihavenonickname
Posted
Thank you for your response.
Biggrant darlz
Posted
Just keep going with it, you know yourself that your struggling with life and depression but keep looking for the right answer, what you know will help you, no one knows what's right for you, for my depression they keep telling me what they think is right but it's what suits me not them, cognitive therapy doesn't work with me but they keep pushing it. Take care and I hope you find the right answer for you
darlz Biggrant
Posted
judi81003 darlz
Posted
Dear Darlz,
I know those feelings all too well. Personally, I self medicate all the time, and as long as I function, or 'it' helps me function, I don't see a problem. However, some things, when self-medicating, can lead to a downward sprial (e.g. stimulants, which work well as anti-depressents; alcohol, which is a depressant; valium and other Z's, which just numb the pain temporarily....). Not to say they don't 'work' in their own way, but....
Although something makes you feel better, it is temporary—as is the depression, I promise!!!!!
If anything, I would say cannabis is better. It is not (physcially) addictive. I have been using cananbis for a mood disorder since I was about 13 (a long-time back). I find when I am suicidal, on a complete craze, crying incestantly, or not being able to get out of bed, that cannabis really, really helps. Better than alcohol, better than valium... But, we are all different.
I wish you the best, but suggest trying some pot (without anything else). In terms of getting out of your head, know it is temporary. This too will pass. It may come back, but... life is a roller coaster. Use this time to peer inside yourself. I am about as far from catholic as you can get, but I found 'Dark Night of the Soul' by Saint John of the Cross really helped me deal with darkness. Meditation, that actually embraces the darkness, can also help. You don't need to go out and be active with others, you need to delve into your own subconscious so you are comfortable being down, being up, and being you....
Good luck : )
miguel33252 darlz
Posted