I have been suffering for 20 plus years

Posted , 6 users are following.

I started taking antidepressants at the age of 16. I was,at that time, having uncontrollable thought of death or ppl close to me dying. I am now age 45 and find myself having the same thoughts and fears, but much worse this time. I have said, many times, that I would never kill myself bc I believe in God and would not do that to my family, but if not for those factors, I would prob do it. God forgive me plz? It has become he'll to just get out of bed...plz can someone help me?

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Valerie

    You are not alone in this trust me. I think as we all get older our fears of mortality become much more prevalent, it's a real fear, and I reckon perfectly normal to feel scared etc, I know I do.

    I gave had depression for quite a while, and understand how miserable it us, but, one way or another, you have managed, so you should be proud of yourself.

    And don't let anybody come on here and tell you AD ars not the answer. If it works fir you it is the answer, as your the one that has to deal with stuff not anybody ekse

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  • Posted

    That is so sad, do you really know what the issue are ? Any support from Family and friends, I do believe that you would have been all doctors etc any good from it all.

    Maybe you need a lot more help and change things in your life to be more positive in yourself this is easy said.

    I still also suffer with chronic nightmares for the last 12yrs and do understand what it like! I am up every night because of them and yes I also get stressed out , but also now have changed Doctors and are pushing harder for answers ?

    hope you get somewhere soon, keep researching as well, good luck. Alex.

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  • Posted

    Those of us who suffer with depression often come to realise that it comes and goes. It is awful when it comes, but it does go eventually. We all need to draw on whatever is important to us to help us get through the bad times. Religion doesn't do it for me, but if it helps you then make use of it. Like you I found that the thought of how much my killing myself would hurt those I love helped keep me alive. Try and talk about how you are feeling to those who care about you. Many of those reading what you have written will understand how you are feeling - you are not alone.
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  • Posted

    You are not alone in these feelings. Have you got any support at home. I think we all pray to feel better at some time. I hope your beliefs help you. Let us know how you are getting onĀ 
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  • Posted

    Hi Valerie I also have a on going problem with depression, I know that I should be over it by now, but mine called STSD over 12yrs but it is in my subconscious so every night a wake with these chronic nightmares, I have seek all the help, but it seems to be drugs ? I need to find the switch to turn it off.

    Having depression is awful to live I have tried twice now but please do not go down that path.. I am looking for other avenues to try even you should - hypnotherapy - acupuncture ?

    My days are good except if I am in a lot of pain, thought I do worry at times my life should have been better and at times I feel that I have let my wife down.

    Hope it all comes good for you. Alexander.

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  • Posted

    HI Valerie so sorry to hear that you are suffering with such major depression. I don't know what help are you getting with your thoughts, so hear are a few things which I learned at CBT and work for me. Thoughts are natural, acknowledge them and mentally throw the unhelpful ones away.

    Suicide is a solution but it's not the best one, Lifeline/Samaritans/Mental Health team/Church have helped me so much. I have tried 3 times and failed miserably and my family were devastated. I believe God will forgive you again and again when you are enduring such pain.

    Please please talk to someone you trust. God Bless.

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