I have depression but remain fairly positive. How to dig out of a valley of constant grief & trial

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6 mos before graduation, son found out credits from community college did not transfer into correct buckets in state school. He has to attend 3 extra semesters. I severely broke my arm (plates and 8 screws) and was on short term disability. I cod have stayed on disability for 5 months, but didn't want to abuse the system.

Returned to work to find new Pesident had brought in 2 people from previous job, and even tho I hurt and need ADA accommodations, my job was eliminated within days of my return.

My son's father passed away. My son, the only child, is being ignored by this grandparents. They are not calling him and do not wish to see him over the holidays - shunning him.

My arm will never completely heal, it hurts, I am getting older, I don't have a job, I need to pay 3 more college semesters, money is an issue, physical therapy needs to continue for a year and therefore insurance is a big issue.

Altho I have been diagnosed with depression, i do try to stay positive. However, I am sinking into the quicksand of perpetual depression.

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  • Posted


    I am new to this. I am struggling myself but my heart goes out to you. Don't know where you live but there are lots of charities and services online that can support and offer advice. You are going through so much. I hope you have friends to lean on for support. Take care.

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    • Posted

      Thank you. That is one of my biggest issues. I do have friends and family who helped following the surgery on my arm. But they no longer want to hear about my arm issues or job search.

      What do you do when you need to talk or need companionship, and you are all alone? I just start crying or go back to bed, and then it is nearly impossible to break that cycle.

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  • Posted


    Just wondered how you are doing now that the new year has dawned. Been thinking of you and your tough situation and hoping that you are hanging on and finding strength for each new day.

    Best wishes, Digsby

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    • Posted

      Hi Digsby -

      It meant a lot to me that you thought enough to follow up with me.

      My son came home from college over the holiday break, and it was wonderful being there for one another. It was quite difficult for me when he left, though.

      I have raised a very resilient young man, and he is able to bounce back with a cheerful outlook while being empathetic to others. His attitude helps me regain my outlook.

      I also met with a doctor, and have started a different med. I THINK it may help off-set some of the depression, but not certain yet.

      There have been some set-backs for me with family relationships over the holidays, like many people. But I take it personally and just want to crumble. Yet, I keep trying to repair and strengten the relationships because that is the right thing to do. I have seen some positive outcomes recently!! That's all we can do, right? Try to make things better instead of accepting it.

      Still difficult to get out of bed, but I have been trying to schedule activities (like physical therapy) in the morning so I am FORCED to get up and start the day! One of the best things is, that my injured arm is making significant improvements because I can spend more time doing the exercies since I do not have a job! Seriously - there are positive life-long health benefits because I do not have a  job.

      Starting to delve into the job search more - it's a roller coaster of emotions.

      Thank you again for touching base. That is very kind of you, and means a lot to me. I have tried to write a couple people on this site, but not certain if it is helpful.

      Would love to stay in touch


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    • Posted

      Hi Patty,

      Thank you for taking the time to update your situation. I know it is still very hard each day but you are making really positive steps in the right direction. Since losing my job last September due to my prolonged depression, I have been through many ups and downs - much of the battle of course is going on in my own head and does have a BIG say on how my body feels, but it isn't something you can just "think yourself positive" from. I do believe the mental battle is a big factor in our recovery though. I find it inspiring that you can rejoice in your son and deal graciously with other family whom it may be harder to love. Turning your physical therapy into a daily motivation strategy is a powerful indication of your resolve to keep going forward.

      Once someone has shared their pain and the deepest ache of their heart, it is not easy to just let that go without wanting to hear that there is hope. I pray that you will continue to overcome the worst of this depression and that the new meds are a stepping stone to helping you achieve this. Yes please - keep in touch because you are an inspiration and a very strong, special lady.

      Big hug :-) xx

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