I have genital herpes and I feel alone.
Posted , 5 users are following.
When I was 14 in 2015 I was going into my sophomore year soon to be 15. I slept with a guy I barely even knew and I wish I never did. I didn't know the risks of what can happen except getting pregnant and was just so dumb for having sex that young. I ended up having a horrible break out but didn't know what it was. I ended up going to the doctors and having a test. The test came back that the guy gave me gonorrhea. I ended up getting medicine for it. Later on that week the pain I was feeling never went away. My break out was really bad.. I ended up going to a vagina doctor and she told me that she thinks I have herpes. I ended up taking a blood test and it came out positive. When I found out I will forever have genital herpes it was the day before my birthday. I felt so depressed. I never told anyone until when I was 16 because I felt I had to tell someone to get it out .. which I should've never told anyone besides my family . This girl I told she had a boyfriend and her boyfriend had a brother she ended up telling him everything and just because I didn't care about myself at the time I had sex with him. One night I stayed at this guys house because I was drunk. I didn't even like him but I stayed there. Well when I was sleeping he got up to get water in his kitchen. So mind you his room is connected to his bathroom . So his older brother was drunk also and said "I have to use the bathroom" so when "he did" he really came into the room I was sleeping in and I woke up to him putting his hands in my pants and fingering me. When I opened my eyes I noticed it wasn't the guy I slept with it was his brother. There was a lot that happened to that story but I never told anyone besides the girl who set me up with him and my best friend at the time . I never felt so horrible but I honestly shut that memory out of my head and blamed myself for even putting myself in that predicament. This man that put his hands in my pants but in his 20's and I was 16. I should've told someone but I knew I couldn't tell my parents. Well that happened summer of 2016 .
I ended up meeting this boy who is now my boyfriend and started to date May 2017. (Him coming into my life was a miracle because I finally started to care for myself and gain good friends). I ended up telling him everything and he has learned to deal with it and comfort me more than I thought was possible. Just lately I feel like it depresses him and I don't want to talk to him about it anymore because I hate talking about it but since I started dating him all those memories came back from the past and how these guys sexually harassed me in a way. I know I did this to myself but I feel I didn't ask for me to get genital herpes and I didnt put myself out there to this guys brother. I just know I shouldn't have to rely on him even though he says I could but I do rely on him because I don't know who else to talk to besides my parents which is even worse. I just don't know how to feel anymore and it's almost 2018 and I'm not over this at all. I just need someone to tell me how they feel about what they just read if anyone ever does and just let me know how to get over this because I find it SO HARD to get over these memories and me having genital herpes.
Thank you.
0 likes, 11 replies
brook37258 malinda70120
Posted
I can relate to part of your story. I also find myself stuck in the past thinking of the decisions I made, and others made that may have lead to my having hsv. I know it's easier said than done but the best way I've found to deal with it is to quit criticizing my own past and work on building a better future me. Your past does not define you and neither does your hsv. If this guy doesnt accept that then that's on him and not you!
malinda70120 brook37258
Posted
I know it just bothers me because I can't talk to anyone. I get so frustrated and depressed over the thought of it because it's so negatively looked upon. I'm a senior in high school and people still bring up stds , hpv, and hiv like it's a joke and you can just say someone has it because they think it's funny. Thank you so much for replying . It really means more to me then you know . And I'm so happy to hear about you getting past things, I hope you have a ton of blessings in your life you deserve it .
Really_bummed malinda70120
Posted
The reason you feel really bad about this is not because you have Herpes! Even though again, it sounds Like you don’t have a good support system, because the kid that gave you Herpes should have been prosecuted. But this twenty year old technically molested you, 100%. And let me tell you something...herpes is catchable through him fingering you, he could catch it, I hope he did. Because he deserves it. He’s a full on predator!!! I don’t know what the statue of limitations are, but you need to prosecute him. That’s what is going to make you feel better. If you read my story, than you saw I am prosecuting my predator. These guys are sick in the head! You don’t just go do these things! It’s not aloud and not okay!!! You are a victim of his sickness! Most of these men were sexually molested as kids and feel the need to prove to themselves that their not gay and they are simply highly sexually driven. And they tend to mess with girls and women while their asleep. Drunk or not. I need for you to see that in both cases you were a victim. I wasn’t there, but I guarantee the high school boy pressured you until you gave in. So from the beginning, you said no..you weren’t ready. But they don’t stop till you are worked over til you feel helpless! You or myself are not sluts for this! We’re victims of monsters! You need to go talk to the authorities baby! About both of them! And guess what! I would not be surprised at all if there aren’t other complaints already been filed on these Guy’s! No.1, the high school guy knew he had Herpes. Well it’s against the law to not tell you he has it! This is an incurable disease! Mine is a certain strain of Herpes where I don’t break out ever, but I get deathly ill for about a week. And I am already disabled on the lung transplant list. I am praying this doesn’t effect my lung transplant. You know I signed on today to cancel my account, but I saw you and you situation and knew I needed to reach out to you. Tell me what your thinking baby! I am old enough to be your Mom and I wish I could be there to take you to the authorities, because I would take care of everything for you! Please pray about everything before you do it. Make sure to always have God on your side!
Your Friend, Sherry
malinda70120 Really_bummed
Posted
Honestly you made me feel so much better I really appreciate this . I didn't put it in there and I don't mean to now but the guy who gave me herpes was 19. I don't mean to say it for attention but I could've plead as a victim of rape but I didn't because it was consensual and I didn't want to do that to him even though he is such a scum bag and I knew karma would bite him in the ass. I just have no one to talk to besides my parents that get aggravated or sensitive when I bring it up. So hearing that I should go to authority even though I know I won't because I don't want people finding out anything .. just hearing you be so supportive and telling me what I could do just really touches my heart. You made me cry because I didn't think someone could relate to me so much and help me just by their words so much . Thank you so much for answering me .
Guest malinda70120
Posted
Guest
Posted
malinda70120 Guest
Posted
Thank you?? I try to keep that in mind. I feel like good things have happened just sometimes I can't get over myself . I need to stop feeling sorry or bad for myself or about myself . I appreciate your answer.
sydney50563 malinda70120
Posted
malinda70120 sydney50563
Posted
I would love to talk to someone who could relate to me !
Moderator comment: I have removed the email address as we do not publish these in the forums. If users wish to exchange contact details please use the Private Message service.
malinda70120 sydney50563
Posted
I want to tell you my email but it says it's being monatored . I used to cry almost every night but now I pray to God every night. I get my nights and I hate it . I want someone to email so hopefully it lets you see it if you see my reply please let me know !
Guest malinda70120
Posted