Posted , 3 users are following.
My last mas surgery was back in November 9th 2017 only 3-4 months ago. I am now feeling yet another lump in the same spot. I am only 21 and have a partner it is very frustrating when this keeps happening. Puts a toll on me and my partner. Any suggestions? Get the gland totally removed? Get the cyst removed?
0 likes, 3 replies
We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.
Bella_rain mackenzie51440
Posted
I would say he has to be patient acv baths and tea tree oil with heating pads well burst it in 3 days and then it heals but he has to be patient. Sweetie I'm 29 and my man is so patient he understands mines comes from stress.
kk48567 mackenzie51440
Posted
Hey,
That truly sucks! Sorry to welcome you to the club. I've had three surgeries now, including getting the gland taken out.
First thing, if you can, go to the doctor again, and get a referral to a gynaecologist, if you haven't already. She'll be able to give you good suggestions, and check what is going on. You might end up needing more surgery to sort it out.
Write down your history before you go in, and stand up for yourself! Don't leave the doctor's office without them understanding that this affects your quality of life, your happiness, your relationship etc. If you're not sure you can do that for yourself, you're allowed to take someone with you who can - like your partner, a friend or your mum.
You might not need more surgery - I found I developed some nerve pain (neuropathic pain) after the second surgery and was given some pain-killing cream by the doctor. I use it before sex and before exercise, and it's been amazing! I ended up with another cyst and got the gland out, but you may have other options.
The suggestions of vinegar and tea and whatever are well-meaning, but could actually give you infections and cause more problems. Warm baths might help though, because of the heat - it can make it hurt less.
I've also found that on a 'sore day' there were a few things I could do to make it easier. Avoiding synthetic fabric underwear, wearing a skirt instead of jeans, changing clothes quickly if I get sweaty, and taking ibuprofen before exercise all helped me.
Second, there's hope! They might be able to remove the gland (I just had that done, finally). I can't tell you whether it worked yet, because I'm just healing now, but I've read a lot of good stories and the doctors obviously think it works, or they wouldn't do it.
If not more surgery, they may be able to give you pain cream, or even physio therapy to calm everything down. Sometimes, in my case, even just having an honest discussion with my partner and finding new ways to 'warm up' made a massive difference.
Which brings me to third...
I know this is crap to hear, but please avoid having any sex that hurts (unless you're into pain - no judgement!).
I was in the same position as you at around the same age (I'm 33 now), and it made the problem so much worse. I gritted my teeth through the painful parts of sex and enjoyed the rest, because I wanted to have a sex life, I was keen, and I loved my partner - and I felt like I owed him. I also tried not to show it, so I wouldn't be a buzzkill. Man I wish I could go back in time and shake that younger version of me!
It was a terrible idea. On top of the Bartholin's issues, I developed a muscle problem that made sex so painful it was impossible. It took years to fix, and caused a lot of relationship problems, and was expensive - I had to get physio to fix it.
Ignoring the pain and not treating yourself kindly can make everything much worse, and more complicated to fix when you do get to the doctor.
Relationship-wise, I know it's hard. It's a lot harder than doctors and family often give it credit for too, and you're not alone or crazy if you're feeling overwhelmed. But you really need to look after yourself first.
If he's a half-way decent guy he'll give you space to work it out, and you'll find other ways to enjoy each other when you're in pain. If you're worried about his reaction, try imagining the roles reversed: what sort of person wants to have sex with someone who is in pain and just gritting their teeth to get through it? If he can't give you space, is that someone you want?
kk48567 mackenzie51440
Posted
Whoa that turned into an essay! Sorry - I was going to cut it, but it posted and I can't.
Was going to say, not all men leave, and it's OK to ask him to be patient. Mine is still around, and is now well and truly on my side, after honest discussion between us. He'd never want to hurt me knowingly, and we're better than ever, together 10 years.