1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Depression

I have menopuase and split from my husband

Posted , 2 users are following.

beverley_c69016
beverley_c69016

Hi can someone tell me if this is right.I'm not sure if I am on the correct thread.I got married in November but a couple of months prior to that I found out my hubby was still speaking and seeing his ex.at the time we decided to work on it as he wanted to be with me.things were fine.but I did have 2nd thoughts about marrying him but it was 2 weeks before wedding and I never had heart to cancel it the week after wedding I found out I was going thro menopause hot flushes night sweet and severe moods I am on patches wich have helped flushes anyway.as days went on I became further and further apart from my hubby .I did not want to come home from work I couldn't stand being near him I found every fault with him.I kept wondering about if he still intouch with ex the thought of what he did hurt me and took all respect I had for him away.each day got worse I became very depressed but my doc wants to see how I am with patches so I go back next month.in meantime I would sit on sofa and look at husband and think what do I see in him I did not fancy him anymore forced myself to do family stuff .I have never told him I love him in 3 month.he get realy upset about all this we spoke alot about it but he kept saying I can trust him and he expected me to get over it .now last Sunday I told him I wanted to split up as the only time I am happy is when I not with him.he packed his stuff and left.and later discovered he had taken all screws out loft ladder and left loft light on so if I was going to go up loft ladders would fall on me.that made me hate him more. Now 1 week on he text me everyday saying he does not want to be apart he can't live life without me begging me.I can't cope with all this because I feel I have no feelings for him at all but because he said he feel suicidal now and he can't cope I'm feel so sorry for him and guilty because he loves me so much and he feels his world had been ripped away.I feel if I were to take him back it would only be cause I felt sorry for him.since last week I have cried every day I feel very down and sad even as I am writing this but I know it's not because I want him back. Can anyone please give advice I am scared incase once I start to feel better I will regret what I have done.but I know deep in my heart I don't love him because I would not have treated him badly If I did.this is hurting so much cause I feel sorry for him and I think married 6th and it's over I will be alone the rest of my life

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • richard89308
    richard89308 beverley_c69016

    Posted

    there are plenty more fish beverley. well done for making your decision.

    You never know what is around the corner.

    • richard89308
      richard89308 beverley_c69016

      Posted

      If you thought that he was unfaithful then yes it is the right decision. Marriage was not meant for three in a bed. So you're not being selfish just brave to stand up to the situation and be honest.
    • beverley_c69016
      beverley_c69016 richard89308

      Posted

      Can you suggest course of action to make me feel less depressed and to stop feeling sorry for him because he is hurting bad. Sounds mad I know
  • laura08496
    laura08496 beverley_c69016

    Posted

    dear beverly, he actually took all the screws out of your loft ladder? that could be dangerous. and i would draw the line right there. who knows what spitefull things he could be capable of if you took him back!!? 

    i am not proud of this, but i've spent pretty much my whole life taking a lot of crap from people, because i didn't want to hurt their feelings. what a waste.

    now, you sound like a kind compassionate person. please dont do what i did (and still do sometimes). you wont be alone forever! unless you want to. i dont have any great advice for you. sorry bout that. just keep yourself safe for now. i hope you get some replies here that may help you out. so please dont ruin your life like i did. good luck sweetheart!

    • beverley_c69016
      beverley_c69016 laura08496

      Posted

      Thank you So much huni.I just feel so bad cause I know he's hurting and the thought of being 8n my own I do have a 14 year old daughter but I mean I'm scared incase I realise down the line that I do realy L9ve him and regret it xxx
Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.