Posted , 6 users are following.
Hi Everyone,
For years I have struggled with emotions and feelings of being down, not good enough, even ending it all. Today I went to the doctor to seek help and have been referred for counselling.
My boyfriend of just over a year has tried to help me time and time again, but I snap back at him. Now he's upset I went to the doctor without talking it through with him first and appears to be blaming himself for my depression.
I tried counselling before but it didn't work. I'm hoping this new one will although I'll have to wait 4 weeks to see someone. The other counsellor I was told about by a friend.
I think my relationship may die because of this. He's cut off from me. Slept on the sofa last night and is being snide all the time now, asking what he's meant to do and how can I just expect him to be ok and want to be normal around me.
I feel like I'm a class A fruitloop. I could finally see I was hurting him, that's why I went to the doctor, now I feel I'm being punished for it. I'm sure it's the illness translating it all to that and I'm sure he isn't punishing me. But I really don't know what to do.
Please help
2 likes, 10 replies
archemedes autumnleaves
Posted
Two kind words in his direction such as 'thank you', can move mountains.
I believe that when those closest to us are fully aware of all our circumstances they can and do make allowances for us.
archemedes
Posted
archemedes
Posted
In other words the 'right' is never wholly on the side of one person.
You have admitted that you suffer from depression but it does appear to me from what you say that your partner is taking the high ground and not accepted any responsibilty whatsoever. In fact just the opposite, he is openly accusing you of everything that is going wrong with the relationship.
Now I do not accept for one minute that he is Jesus incarnate, and therefore his lack of understanding and tolerance I feel is what he is doing wrong.
Might I once again suggest that you get him with yourself to a mediation service such as Relate?
In the meanwhile you do need to continue to seek out and find a support system so that you are not left alone to cope with your depression, and in this respect I would suggest that you contact Mind or Milestone whose contact details are both available on the internet.
patricia44773 autumnleaves
Posted
I do hope things work out for you. The last thing you want is a break up to add to your problems.
I wish I could help more, but I can only wish you the best. I will keep you in my thoughts.
Pat
UK-Ven-medicate autumnleaves
Posted
anne240 autumnleaves
Posted
You don't want to lose him, I know. Fight hard if you want to keep this man. I have been alone many years with my depression. When you find a person who can support you through this, then you are truly lucky. You don't mean to hurt him. Tell him this. If he truly loves you, then he will give you support. We think so negatively, and think we know how others are feeling too.
My advice? Have a truly honest talk. Say you don't want to lose him, you need his support, and you are doing everything to help yourself through this depression. Tell him it is not his fault you are depressed. Say you just wanted to try and cope with it alone, and went to doctor because you did not want to sorry him. Tell him you truly need him.
autumnleaves
Posted
patricia44773 autumnleaves
Posted
You are in an awful position, I feel so sorry for you and I hope you find the answers. You deserve better than this.
Pat
anne240 autumnleaves
Posted
I think you have to make a decision now.
UK-Ven-medicate autumnleaves
Posted
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