I have News!

Thanks I hope the iron makes me feel not so tired as well. I do it wasn't just to feeling tired with the fibro! The doctor did say I know my own body lol! Its good when they listen to you. :lol: It will be the third Christmas I have been on iron tabs. :cry:

Lizzy is a goiter a swelling on the thyroid gland and makes the neck look swollen at the front. Have read about it as my neighbour had one. Its alright the saying monitor you for six months but they don't have to put up with it. :cry:I hope your doctor gives you the support you need.

Linda I bet you are so looking forward to all the work done and able to get into your own bed. You have to much going on to think about making a christmas cake. I am going to give it another try on Friday when I have more time. I had Sophie yesterday and she likes looking at your tummy. She lifted my top to look at my tummy and started blowing raspberries on it. It was so funny and tickled and made me laugh. She is such a funny little girl and always make me smile. :lol: Got Molly's birthday coming up on 6th December. She is so good with Sophie and will sit down with her and read her a story. :lol: Hoping to see her tonight after school. Having my hair done this afternoon another body perm so have to see what the weather does as not supposed to get wet or wash for two days lol.

We are busy decorating as well at the moment. We have been in our house for 18 years and haven't decorated the toilet. We have separate toilet from bathroom. It was so good to get the old paper off but now we are going to get it decorated before Christmas. Stewart is also changing what was the girls bedroom. We had three tier beds that he made in there and now going to make the frame for a fold down double bed. I a lucky he is so good with making things with wood. Want to use it as a guest room. There will be room for fold down double bed and a fold down single bed as the biggest bedroom in the house. :cry: So like you I have some mess about and dust about now. :cry: Will be worth it in the end though when my son and his fiancee come to stay. No sleeping on air beds then.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Tess

I hope life has been treating you well.

Linda hows the alterations going ? I hope you are managing to pace yourself or have yo decided to just go for it and clean up and worry about the pain later.

Tess yes its a swelling on my neck which you can't see and he mumbled something about nodules as well so they are going to scan it. He also went on about me being Vit D deficient which i new nothing about, but apparently blood tests last April showed it, he wanted to know why i hadn't been treated. So I have asked my doc to ring rheumi to see why they didn't tell me and why they decided not to treat.!!!!!How did the xmas cake go? I wish Molly a happy birthday. Do you get on with iron tablets I found up to a certain level they made me very constipated and then when they upped them even further they had the opposite effect which was really bad.

I'm having a problem I just can't get motivated for xmas, I know the kids will be very upset if I don't get sorted but the depression has kicked in big time and am just about coping with life without involving xmas as well. I am going to have to make a really big effort and pull myself together and get sorted, I hate shopping at the best of times.

Take care and wishing you both a good weekend.

Lizzy

Hope you got your cake sorted Tess, and the bedroom is going ok. How are you feeling now, has the iron kicked in yet?

Lizzy, I know just what you mean about not getting motivated and depression kicking in. It just doesn`t seem like Christmas and with the state the house is in I just can`t be bothered How is your hubby? Any news on the job front? Christmas must just seem like an extra burden for you both.

On top of everything else, my oldest friend died last week, I got a call yesterday. Hadn`t seen her for a while as we live miles apart now, but kept in touch via e-mail, phone etc. It just seems to have been the straw that broke the camel`s back and I`ve had no interest in anything since.

On the plus side the work is going well, and I can`t complain about the workmen or anything, I just don`t cope when things are upside down and eventually it all gets too much.

Hope you are both doing ok today

Linda, in a very wet and dismal Cambridge!

Linda I am very sorry to hear about your friend, I'm not surprised it has upset you. You have had so much to contend with these last few months. I'm glad the alterations are coming along well. Sending you gentle huggs. Do you have a finish date yet?

Alan seems a lot more relaxed and I think the 10mg of amitryptaline has kicked in at long last, the only problem is the doc said he could only have a months supply so I am now trying to convince him to go back and get some more. As for jobs no sign of one at the moment its going to be difficult when hes been sacked. He has put in an apeal but not heard anything yet. He has also sent all the stuff to a solicitor to see if they will take the case on as we are insured for legal exspenses on our household insurance.

Tess how are you have you managed to make that cake again? What a time to start doing the decorating!!! I hope the bed making goes well. My inlaws have a 3 teir bunk beds for when our kids go to stay. They love them the only problem now is they are all taller than us so bang there heads quite often. I hope the perm went well. Hows the iron tablets going?

I'm not so good the depression is settleing in and all my aches and pains are back. The anxiety keeps coming and going, I'm panicing because I don't want to deal with xmas but know I have got to. Agreed to go to inlaws as I just couldn't face entertaining this year, but I also don't want to go as I have got to be socialable. Money is also tight so I am worrying about that which isn't helping, at least we are not in debt apart from our mortgage. Then on top of that I feel my space has been invaded, don't get me wrong I do love Alan very very much, but I am not use to having him around all day every day and its begining to rub me up the wrong way, hes been like a lost dog found. Life is becoming quite an effort and what upsets me most is that I seem to be gripped by this mental illness which doesn't want to go away, for over 2 years now. I wish I new how to get back to the old me living life with fun and hardly a care in the world and hardly any fear.

Take care.

Lizzy

your last paragraph is so familiar :!: Its been over twenty years now that I have had Ray at home, and until two years ago I went to work part time. It was only that that kept me sane :!: Even then although I loved the company I still craved for just a couple of hours even on my own. Its got easier over the years but the only time out I get is once a fortnight to have coffee with my best friend. Since I finished work cause of the fibro the depression has been bad, we eat, sleep, go shopping in fact everything is done together. Ray can`t drive because of his sight etc. so I have to take him everywhere. The guilt gets to me because I want some time to myself, but really I don`t think its healthy to be together all the time. Hope things change for you soon. come on and have a good moan when you need to

Linda

Why do they never get our resluts right Lizzy. Should have told you about the Vit D ages ago. :cry: Seems we always have to question anything we are told now. :cry: Yes Xmas cake went well second time around and hopefully should taste ok. :lol: Got to keep feeding it with Brandy now. :lol: Had my perm on my hair and has taken very well. Didn't wash it for about three days as didn't go far. :cry: Too busy painting etc. Fold down bed is made now but not going to decorate the until after Christmas in that room. Trying to get the toilet decorating finished. Got cupboard built and door and window ledge painted. Just got second coat to put on window ledge later. Stewart got to plaster around the ceiling then can be painted and papered. Its not very big being a separate toilet so hopefully have it done before Christmas. :lol: I can paint the ceiling and leave Stewart to put the wallpaper on.

I hope Alan can say on the antidepressant if it is helping him. :lol: Been taking my iron tabs for a week now and take 2 200mg a day. Still feeling tired though but will take a while to kick in. Got blood test booked for the 29th Deember.

Linda I do hope all the alterations will be ending soon and you can have time to relax. :lol: Sorry to hear about your friend its no wonder you are feeling down on top of everything else. :cry:

I do feel for you both Lizzy and Linda and hope you feel a bit more positive with things that are going on soon. :cry: I do understand what you both mean about having time to yourself. Like you say we love them to bits but we do need time alone. I am lucky with Stewart doing his shifts as when he is on day shift get five whole days on my own. Don't like the nights on my own though and wish he was here. :lol: We all need that mean time and probably if we ask our partners they will feel the same. :lol:

We have some sun here although it is very cold outside. :lol: Sending you both big hugs. :-}

Tess

I hope life is treating you well?

Tess I'm glad your cake turned out better this time. I use to feed my cakes Brandy, yum yum. :lol: Blimey you're making my head spin just reading what you have been doing. Glad the perm took Ok. I use to have my hair permed.

Linda hows the alterations going? It is important that we get time to ourselves and do things for us, and not to feel guilty about it. Do men not feel the same? So how do you cope with the depression? I seem to be hitting my head against a brick wall. Its always there in the back ground and when the smallest thing goes wrong it sets me off again and it takes ages to get back to any sort of normality.

Do you think depression is hereditory as in your genes or do you think its just something that happens due to envoiroment facters.

I'm also struggling with my health again for the last week I have not been sleeping well and I have come to the conclusion I must be in pain as I am tossing and turning like I was a few months ago. The splitting headache is back and all my muscles are stiff and my joints feel creeky again. I'm begining to think that my rheumi may be right about the fibro as I am fairly sure its not the lupus.

Take care.

Lizzy

Yes I think men do feel the same but they are not very open with their feelings. :cry: I also feed my Christmas Cake with Brandy. :lol: I think depression could be due to genes but think a lot of it is due to whats going on in life and different illnesses you have.

I wake up nearly every morning feeling like I haven't slept for a month.

I then think about my exercises and feel not got enough energy to do them. :cry: I might be aching and in some pain but I make myself do the 20 minutes nearly every morning apart from when I am feeling really unwell and away in the van. :lol: I do feel better with having done them but its not always easy to get motivated. It does make my joints not as stiff and feel I an do more. The last few mornings have felt like an 80 year old on waking and getting out of bed in the morning feeling stiff and sore. If I could only sort out the sleep overnight problem would feel so much better. :lol: I take 10mg of ampitripline before bed but always walk about three or four in the morning and never get back to sleep from then on. :cry:

Do you still manage to do your walking? Got horrible job to do today clean my oven aw! Only a month since I cleaned it but with all the cake making needs another clean. :cry:

Linda I hope everything is coming along with your alterations and you will soon have all the mess out of the way. Hope your mum and ray are doing ok to. Don't forget to try and take time out for you. :lol:

Tess

I always feel that the depression is just below the surface, ready to erupt at the first sign of any hassle Fairly sure that mine is circumstance related, and the way things are going not a lot is likely to change there so the struggle goes on.

Know just what you mean Tess about sleep, just like you I take the amitriptyline before bed and you can guarantee I`l be awake from 4ish onwards. Then getting up is a struggle, always wake with that sinking feeling, as if something awful is going to happen, and it takes several hours before I feel anything at all like normal (for me that is :!: ) What I class as normal most people would think they were unwell

Ray had a fall in the night on tuesday, was very shaky, stiff and not at all himself for 48hrs after. Not too bad now thank goodness :!: Boots have messed up Mum`s prescription, AGAIN, she has had no memory tablets since Wednesday :!: All more things for me to sort, if only these people could do their jobs properly it would make my life a whole lot easier :!:

On the plus side the bathroom is finished apart from the decorating, which should be done next week. We can use though so not too bad. Not going to worry about getting landing and stairs decorated or a new carpet till after Christmas. Just want to get clean and tidy and get ready for Christmas now without anymore work being done.

Well, hope you are both ok, how`s your hubby Lizzy, any news?

Linda

Just popped on to tell you that Mum had a fall on Sat, found by the Postman. Has broken shoulder, and is in the Intermediate Care Unit. Not sure how long for, but will need lots of help when she does go home. Really tired from the travelling and feel I`ll never get the house straight for Christmas now she`s very confused, even thought my cousin ahd paid for her to stay in this lovely hotel :!: Oh well, just something else for me to cope with.

Take care, Linda

Linda I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, it was good of the postman to notice. Your mum is in the best place at the moment so I hope you have some time to look after yourself while someone else looks after your mum for a while. Sending you a big hug. How is Ray after his fall?

I agree with you Linda what we call normal most people would class as ill.

Tess how are you? I bet your grandchildren are getting excited about xmas. Hows the cake coming along? i have no problems staying asleep as I take 125mg of doselupin which is the same group as amitrptyline, what I have found is I am tossing all night again and end up tied up in knotts at night. Yes I still walk 5 days a week I have to to keep me mobile.

It would seem that things just keep coming and I am begining to think that maybe they do in everyday life and that the problem is we find it difficult to deal with as we are not well and that if we were well we would just get on with whatever is happening and take it all in our stride

I fell out with my mum last week it was the final straw after a pretty bad week, normally I wouldn't let it bother me but when you feel low you take evrything to heart.

So in a big effort and so as not to spoil the kids xmas I have gone into the cupboard and got all the xmas decorations out for the kids to put up. I have also written my xmas cards and given the kids some cards to send. Tomorrow after my neck scan I am taking alan xmas shopping not looking forward to that part, but know its got to be done.

Take care wishing everybody a good day tomorrow.

Lizzy

I think this lack of iron is getting to my brain and as well as fibro. Keep forgetting things even though I have written them down. Stewart should have gone yesterday for eye appointment and we both forgot about it.

Had to ring today and I was really apologetic. Luckily lady I spoke to was fine about it and has given him another appointment next year at our own doctors surgery. He was having to go to March and that would have been about 15 miles away. :cry:

Linda so sorry to hear about Rays fall and your mum. I hope they are both doing ok now. Like Lizzy said she is in the best place and try and have some time for yourself. I know if must be difficult as you may need to visit her more now with being in hospital. There is always something else thrown at you. Why can't people do their jobs right and get your mums prescription sorted out for her. Is she in Edith Cavell or P.D.H.

Its good you have got bathroo finished. Good idea to leave decorating now until after Christmas. Might just get out toilet decorated before only got two coats of paint to go on ceiling and then it can be papered.

Stewart as finished making the bed and it is a fold down double bed he is going to attached to the wall to make more space when not in use. It will say out son and his fiancee sleeping on an airbed over Christmas for three nights. Need to do some decorating in there so see how we go.

Thanks Lizzy xmas cake is ok. Been feeding it with Brandy every few days. :lol: It is good you are keeping your walking up. It does help to keep you mobile. :lol: I am pleased you managed to get your decorations out and the children can put up for you. Enjoy your shopping and hope it is not too busy for you. I hope your neck scan goes ok. I have had one of those before.

Big hug to you both and take care.

Love Tess

Mum was taken to PDH following her fall and would have been sent home if she had someone living with her :!: I felt awful but there was no way I could have brought her here, we haven`t a spare room anyway, and what with all the mess it wouldn`t be safe for her So there is a new building called the City Care Centre, its on the same site as the maternity unit, which has unit for intermediate care. They will assess her and organise any help she will need when she gets home. Its a lovely place and the food is brilliant. She is just very confused about where she is and what is happening.

On top of everything else, she has a neighbour who is very good to her, takes her shopping and checks on her, but several family members have reported that they feel he is taking advantage of her good nature and dementia and charging her for things she doesn`t have and other money related issues Sorry I`ve rambled on but at risk of upsetting him and more importantly her, I`m not sure there`s much I can do about it at the moment.

Take care and I hope the decorating goes well

Linda

I think we must be jinxed :!: How much more am I going to get thrown at me :?: Chris now has Swine flu so I`m off to pick up Tamiflu when the chemist opens. I`ve been vaccinated and so has Ann, but Ray and my Mum are too old to have theirs yet, so think I shall put him in a sealed room for the next 5 days :!: Lol Oh well, happy days, eh

Linda

Sounds like your mum is being well looked after where she is for the moment. On less worry for you. As with her neighbour why do people have to take advantage when someone is ill and get more out of them.

What more can be thrown at you especially with Christmas coming up. :cry: Surely you have had your fair share of things now. I am now sending you an extra big hug as you need it. :lol:

Hope things get easier for you. :lol:

Lizzy how are you coping with everything at your end! Did your neck scan go ok. Hope to hear from you soon.

Well both take care and hope better things start to happen soon. :lol:

Tess