I have serious stress issues and don't want to feel this way.

Posted , 4 users are following.

I have been married for 17 years and have 6 kids. For the most part I am happy but about a year and a half ago my wife talked about wanting another baby. Financially we were fine to do so, but to be honest I really didn't want anymore because even though my wife is 8 years younger than me, I am 44 years old and decided to go back to school and have other things I would like to do without having to watch another baby. When I told her this she said ok but I knew it bothered her. I wanted to make her happy even though I knew it would make me miserable. So I read up on how to lower my sperm count and tried everything I could to not get her pregnant but with my track record I knew the inevitable would come soon. She got pregnant and don't get me wrong I love all of my kids with all of my heart, but now I have so much stress, chest pains and anxiety and even some very minor suicidal thoughts from time to time. I have talked to her about my feelings but honestly I really don't think she is listening and just wanted what she wanted and got it. She recently got promoted and so now I am a full time student and a stay at home dad with major stress issues, chronic upset stomach, head aches and other issue. Someone please give me some advice if you are anywhere remotely in my my shoes.

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    Awe I couldn't even imagine! I'm a stay at home mom with 2 kids and going to school online and I'm stressed to the max sometimes I have to sit in the bathroom and just cry! I get bad anxiety and a lot of head pressure

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    • Posted

      I purchased a 3 wheel jogging stroller and have been hitting the track more often to try and relieve some of the stress, I just wish she would have considered my feelings more when she originally brought up the idea of having another baby. It makes me feel really guilty at times thinking that I am in the wrong and not her for not wanting another baby, I ask myself questions like, "Am I being selfish?" Hate that your having the same issue, hope yours gets better as well.

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  • Posted

    being a stay at home parent is a lot of work. I can understand why you feel stressed. Maybe with her promotion you can hire someone to help you out with the baby when it arrives.  That way you can study and focus on finishing up college. When do you finish? 
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    • Posted

      I am trying to juggle it all before we decide to bring in outside help, so far it's pretty rough but I'm trying to manage. I graduate in 2012 but then have 3 more years of law school before I'm done.

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    • Posted

      Lol you are stressed hahah its 2016 lmao. I think you meant 2017 and law school requires a ton of your time..well worth it but if you need to acquire help thats okay too! You do what you need to do to get to your goals! They are good ones. When you feel pulled to tightly from both ends that when your body is screaming for you it needs some help.nothing wring  with that.  You are a human and thats why help is out there...
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  • Posted

    Hello, what you are going through is a case of depression from all the worry and anxiety which is very common with depression, I know, I have been fighting it for a very long time so I know how you feel. Some people like myself have a chemical inbalance which causes the brains serotonin levels to be low which causes the depression, anti- depression medications help bring those levels back up so you feel better. It more complex then that but you get the idea. Look at your case this way, it's your thinking that is causing your depression and anxiey,

    if you have been happy and never experienced until now, you should either see a therapist to talk it out, it's called CBT(Cognitive behavioral therapy) no Meds just a way to change your thinking so you feel better. Now if you are having suicidal thoughts, maybe a psychiatrist is the better way to go, they can give you meds to help the stress, therapist can't. Suicidal thoughts are very common with people who have never been through this before, I know 100% what you feel and that's not an option, you will get better if you get some help and I really think you should. Let me ask you this, have you ever had a bad tooth and the pain was so bad you couldn't take it any longer and you went to the dentist to get it fixed? Well now you have a mental issue which everyone has at one time or another so go get some help, it's the heathly thing to do and don't be ashamed to do it. Good luck and I know you will make the right choice,

    God Bless

     

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    • Posted

      I have never had any issues mental or otherwise, so the stress is new for me. I try not to put too much on my plate also, but when you have no control over who flys the plane it's kind of hard to avoid it.

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    • Posted

      Yes it's hard to avoid and if not treated will only get worse, not to scare you but I know this for a fact. I have been dealing with Anxiety and Depression for years, it's a tough thing to deal with. Just by you posting here is a flag that you need some help which is the right thing to do. Don't let it get any worse, a simple visit to a psychiatrist and maybe a low dose of meds can help you. Good luck!!

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  • Posted

    Have you tried setting 30 minutes to an hour a day to just go have you time? Gym, football with your buddies. Ect? Just getting an hour out of the day just for you could help your anxiety and fears as much as a therapist or meds. Even riding a bike alone is so good for you! I live with anxiety everyday, I have a huge fear of dying and leaving my 4 children, so everything I feel freaks me out, but even when I get a few minutes to myself, I forget about my stress and I'm happier for the rest of the day. You just have to push yourself to get out the door and I hope you have a supportive wife smile Good luck

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    • Posted

      I actually do get some me time everyday, the gym and running are very helpful to relieve stress, or going to the range always relieves stress, it's just a lot at one time is all. I'm gonna go try a psychologist Monday but I don't want all kinds of medicines in my system so I'm not so sure about a psychiatrist.

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