1. Community
  2. Women's health
  3. Menopause

I have suddenly become depressed

Posted , 6 users are following.

Mayfly1
Mayfly1

Good morning all

I believe I began the menopause some time ago, as my periods stopped about 6 months back, and I have had the hot flushes for a while.  Basically, I have had no other symptoms – or so I thought.

Just recently, someone has moved in to the flat downstairs, and I am aware of his television.  It has made me resentful in a way which is bordering on the extreme.  It has sent me into a pit of depression, which resulted in my going to the doctor and obtaining some anti-anxiety pills.  I took half a tablet one Friday but did not realise I am supposed to take them continuously.  Come Monday morning, I could not stop bursting into tears.  I have had depression before but this is the worst ever.  I feel disconnected from the world, I can’t see any hope for the future, everything is dark and not worth looking forward to.  I normally love Christmas but I can’t see myself living until then because I am so depressed. 

I have been to the doctor who confirmed she believes I am in the menopause.  So what I would like to know is : why am I feeling the depression now and will HRT really relieve the amount of depression I am feeling?  I have looked at other symptoms people described and I think I have been experiencing these without really knowing it.  For example, I am off balance a lot of the time, I have come close to collapse sometimes – just a feeling of not being able to stand up, total exhaustion (I work two jobs so I put it down to that) and I also have the urinary incontinence – fortunately, it’s not been too bad, it’s controllable, I’m just aware of it.  But this is the first time the depression has been so bad, I am having problems controlling it.  I really would like to know that I will feel more as though life is worth living and hopefully, that my neighbour is not this awful person deliberately putting his telly on to annoy me.  I want to reconnect with the world, I feel it’s happening around me but I’m not part of it.  I keep doing stuff just to try and make a mark on it.

I honestly feel like I'm going mad

1 like, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • Gypsy014
    Gypsy014 Mayfly1

    Posted

    Hi Mayfly, you didn't say how old you are, but guessing your at that wonderful age where things are changing for you uggh I know!!! Well sounds like your symptoms are getting off and running now they usually continue with one after another, and just when one eases up another one comes, it cycles from month to month, and can run straight for weeks even months at a time, especially the anxiety and depression doom and gloom crying for no particular reason, I had that for 6 months straight!! I couldn't wait for holidays to come and go last year either, and this year I'm not as bad but still not looking forward to them.. I'm in CBT therapy and practice mindfulness, meditation for the anxiety it helps somewhat, but it can get a strong hold on you,, this is a very lonely depressing miserable time of life, just have to breathe and tread water untill you make it through, I love my peace and quiet, and couldn't imagine having to deal with someone's loud tv, he/she probably doesn't have it out for you they're just watching and not even realizing it's bothering anyone. Maybe next time you see your neighbor just mention to them tv a little loud coming thru walls please lower a bit, and hopefully they do for you... Well hope your journey to the other side isn't to nasty on you and your feeling some relief soon.. Good luck in this craziness, just remember one day one symptom at a time, your not going crazy just feels like it.... But there are the ones who do understand out there going thru the same thing...p.s check thyroid if you haven't already..

    • Mayfly1
      Mayfly1 Gypsy014

      Posted

      Thank you for replying, I hope I can do something about the depression, it frightens other people when I burst into tears for no reason and then you have to tell people you don't know very well what you are going through.  The telly isn't particularly loud, it's just that I have noticed it now and can't 'unnotice' it.  I'm trying to clear some space in the attic because I don't hear it up there but then I feel like I can't enjoy my own home.  I didn't find it too bad yesterday so maybe I will become used to it, I just get stressed about it work and then I don't have anything left to try and get a handle on it.  

      I haven't had my thyroid checked - the doctor didn't say anything about that.  I can mention it on Thursday when I decide to go HRT or anti depressants.  I think I will try HRT, she says my age (49) will work in my favour and there's no history of breast/cervical cancer in my family.  

      Thanks again, hope you're having a good day today.  Each day as it comes, eh?..

    • Gypsy014
      Gypsy014 Mayfly1

      Posted

      Yeah thyroid can get all wacky when you go thru peri/meno especially hashimotos which can fluctuate between hyper and hypo awful symptoms there with depression crying ECT.. Same as meno symptoms though so tough to figure out what's causing what.. Hashimotos you need an antibodies blood test, and doctors don't like to give it who knows why, but you can demand it and see how far you get.. I know what you mean about the crying omg I had it bad and couldn't stop the worry the feelings of despair just overwhelming.. Sometimes I'd cry and then after I'm pretty sure I was all cried out I'd just lay on my bed feeling like my life was just sucked right out of me, and then the headaches would follow from the crying, what a vicous cycle, and mornings are the worst! I don't take anything because I have anxiety to medication, and also can't because I had a hysterectomy years ago for pre cancer cells (cervical) so I'm all natural, sucks but I'll make it through to other side one day!! Yes one day at a time and one symptom at a time definitely helps, before therapy for the anxiety I went in there like omg I have anxiety that won't go away, awful I felt, but then my therapist helped me to know when an attack was coming and to keep it Under a 5 helps on a scale from 1 to 10 if that makes sense, so now when my anxiety rises above what I think is a 5 I stop meditate , breathe I do my anxiety exercises until anxiety drops below the 5 and then I continue on with whatever I was doing, so it feels like I'm working on each anxiety attack at a time instead of it all feeling like it's running together, so one symptom at a time, hope this helps and your feeling better real soon! 😊

    • Guest
      Guest Gypsy014

      Posted

      Definitely agree about the anxiety attacks... I just stop whatever I’m doing and do deep breathing until it passes or is a lot less severe.  It helps.
    • Gypsy014
      Gypsy014 Guest

      Posted

      Hi Liz, yes really helps when you become aware of the anxiety, then you can practice the breathing techniques one anxiety attack at a time.. Instead of feeling like wow I'm so anxious and can't figure out why... You have to get a hold of the anxiety instead of the anxiety getting a hold of you!! breathe meditate tell yourself it will pass shortly all one anxiety attack at a time...

    • Guest
      Guest Gypsy014

      Posted

      I agree.  Once I know I’m having an attack, I have to deal with it before trying to do anything else. 🌸

  • kelly55079
    kelly55079 Mayfly1

    Posted

    I'm not looking forward to the holidays either..Being around my in-laws and trying to be this 'happy person' is quite difficult.  And yes at times my neighbor brings on my anxiety and she is really not doing anything to me..  so strange  I take it day by day..  some I just want to nap and hide inside and that's fine..  Other days I'm out and about which are good.  Swimming helps me and I also upped my Vit D..  Less sun and colder in the winter months-- I need all help I can get.   And just being kind to ourselves helps.

    • Guest
      Guest kelly55079

      Posted

      Totally agree, Kelly!  Exercise and sunlight are a big help.  It’s hard to get everything we need in winter.  I just started taking Vitamin D again and also ride an exercise bike.  Being kind to ourselves helps.  I had to get through a couple of really bad years to see that, but I’m grateful to be where I am now.
  • Mars777
    Mars777 Mayfly1

    Posted

    Hi Mayfly1, Reading how you feel I am wondering if it's your hormones ? Do you actually feel depressed could it be anxiety related? HRT can help with these feelings you may have to try a few to find one that suits you. I have been on HRT now for over 7 years, I have felt as you have, I'm good now. I would have a talk with your GP ask her what she thinks, or tell her you would like to give them a go? I found HRT put me back to how I use to feel. As long as your able to take them & you have regular checks then you will feel  much better in yourself . Some people take both anxiety tabs & HRT. Hope this helps, not nice feeling the way you do x

  • Guest
    Guest Mayfly1

    Posted

    About two years ago, I went through several months of waking up sad and crying every morning.  It was dreadful.  While that was going on, I also had surgery to have an ovary and some polyps removed.  I felt even worse after that, overate (especially sugar), gained 30 pounds, and spiraled downward fast.  What brought me around was my awareness that I was destroying my body.  The overweight was causing problems and I hated how I looked and felt.  Some lab test results also got me moving.  Now, I’m doing much better with dietary changes and riding an exercise bike daily.  I also walk a lot.  The crying upon waking went away after several months.  There are so many awful symptoms with menopause.

    I agree with Gypsy about the thyroid testing.  Mine has tested as normal twice, but it’s worth checking on it just in case.  Keep posting!  We’re here for you.

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.