I have to stop again

Posted , 9 users are following.

I get going strong but again fail... I have alot on my plate right no and rying so hard to deal with everything but ... then I slip sad

2 likes, 20 replies

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  • Posted

    I know how you feel . Dealing with our demons is enough , but outside pressure is bloody hard to cope with .

    i am now on SelIncro to try and help with my drinking.

    But my husband was diagnosed with prostrate cancer at 54 this year , and my mum has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's . 😱😱

    so between the drinking issue and the family problems , my head is spinning . Bring on the wine I would say , but I know I can't help my darling husband with his cancer or my lovely mum who is slipping away from me more and more 😢 I really need to cope with my drinking . 

    I can't help my family being this person 😓

    i feel sad worthless and afraid . 

    • Posted

      Hey Kathryn 

      your husband and mum are lucky in that you care for them, and I know how hard that can be.

      My mum was 91 when she died, and she desparately wanted to die in her own bed at home. She had carers which came three times a day. She was deaf, partially sighted and diabetic. She was in and out of hospital and each time, they would only let her come home if someone was there 24/7. That person was me.

      luckily my husband was initially supportive and my kids were grown up, although two still lived at home. I lost count of the number of times the doctor and nurses said, she'll die today. She was on the Liverpool care pathway about 6 times which provided care and just water. She lived on water and was bedridden for six weeks. During that time, I stopped taking camprol and nipped to the shop several times when someone was sitting with her, and would come back with half a bottle of vodka.

      my husband was getting fed up of me not being at home until I felt like piggy in the middle. We had a holiday booked which me and the kids wanted to cancel, but OH was adamant he needed a break. After two days we kept getting phone calls to come back, which we did and I went back to my vodka. I would have a couple of drinks during the day, but when the overnight Macmillan nurse came I could switch off with my vodka.

      sorry for rambling on, but your post sounded so familiar (without the extra burden of a sick husband) and bought back memories of four years ago.

    • Posted

      I meant to add that you have nothing to feel sad and worthless about, in fact the opposite. I can fully understand you feeling afraid and sad, but YOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT WORTHLESS!! You are doing the best you can during a very difficult, stressful and emotional time. You should feel proud of yourself, and try and have a little 'me' time, although I realise that may not be possible. Take care and be proud and certainly not worthless.

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