I haven't had a friend visit me in over a year.

Posted , 7 users are following.

I don't want this to be a pity party but I worked out today it's been well over a year since a friend actually came to see me.  The phrase 'out of sight, out of mind' is practically created for this disease.  I have never had loads of friends but 5/6 really close ones but it seems as if the longer this goes on the more they fade away.  

I have played high level sport all my life until this illness robbed me of everything and it's really hard not being part of a team anymore and even harder that I can't exercise to help the anxiety/depression.  

Not sure there was a point to this post just wanted to get it off my chest. 

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    you are not on your own.  When i first became really ill 18 years ago  it quickly became obvious who where friends and who were not.  Most just fell by the wayside within a year or two. Im now left with just a few who i keep in touch with over the internet. No one wants to hang out with the sick person. Over the years ive gone from being so upset, to angry.. now i just dont care!!  Im so over people judging me and giving me that look, you can tell  they are not comfortable around you and they dont know what to say.  Me.. i just want them to treat me the way always did  but ive come to terms with the fact that it it what it is and there is nothing i can do to change that.  Over the years ive found new things to do and get involved in  to replace the social aspect that i no longer have. I have started my own little craft business and get alot out of iy. I make everything i sell and have some amazing customers who come back time and time again. The lovely comments and feedback i get keep me going. Acceptance i have found does come with time. You learn to stop mourning what you have lost and find other new outlets to replace them. Be kind to yourself also!! sometimes our inner voice can be more cruel than anything anyone else could ever say smile x
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  • Posted

    This has happened to my son too.  He’s lucky he has a couple of real friends -  its 4 years since he was diagnosed.  One has recently dropped off the radar possibly because he can’t understand the illness and can’t be bothered to find out about it.   It upset him and made him go a bit introverted for a while.   He;s always trying to find out ways to get better and is currently trying NDT in case his thyroid is to blame.  A recent study from the Netherlands found that some ME sufferers had low functioning thyroids which didn;t show up in blood tests.  His thyroid blood test results were pretty low so he’s trying the NDT.   Anythings worth trying.  One day they’ll find what causes it and a cure too.  Roll on that day.  
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  • Posted

    Hi Linesy. That's really tough and I feel for you.  We don't realise how much friendship is related for what we do for one another, and once you can no longer do stuff for others, you fall out of the friendship loop.  Added to this people's lives just seem to get busier and busier.  When I realised how isolated I had become I decided to be direct and told friends I wanted to hear how things were going in their lives and could they pop in for a short visit, just a half hour with a cup of tea. 

    Wishing you the best.

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  • Posted

    Linesy--I could have written your post, even down to the 5 or 6 close friends. These are very long-term friends--for over 50 years. One friend was like a sister to me. I actually phoned her last year (even getting on the phone is difficult for me), told her I missed her, and asked her if she would come for a visit. She never came. The phrase "out of sight, out of mind," apparently very well describes my situation. Not only that, but these friends were all close to my 97-year-old mother, who feels bad that they haven't called her, either. I sent an email to these friends, not even mentioning my illness again, but the fact that Mom misses them. Only 1 out of the 5 then phoned her. I also know how frustrating it can be not to be able to exercise to help deal with anxiety or depression. I did find that meditation helped greatly with this, and helped in general for me to cope with this illness.

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  • Posted

    hi there my 1st post.

    I have suffered with cfs for 8 years now. and your right after about a year or so everyone drops away.

    I sometimes blame myself a bit as when some say "pop over on sunday" and on sunday im like i cant move and cancel. Feels like they just get fed up of asking. Some just dont bother.

    Out of site out of mind is a good desciption.

    Hope you have family that supports you.

    Cheers ben

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