I just don't care
Posted , 6 users are following.
I'm 46 year old female..I just don't have the will power to care about anything. I truly hate myself. I'm 80 pounds over weight..But I can't get myself to doing anything about it. I look in the mirror at what was once a beautiful woman 10 years ago. All I see is a disgusting monster that nobody will ever love. I think about suicide all the time. I cry for no reason. I think sometimes I'm losing my mind. I just can't figure out how to be happy. I don't think I will ever be.
1 like, 3 replies
BethanyLouisa kim63383
Posted
Hi, sorry to read you are feeling so low. Have you been to your GP to see if they are able to help or do you have a relative or friend you could talk with? I sometimes cry and don't know why or I just feel low for no reason - for me I think it's because I have low self esteem and tend to have depression tendencies. I too am overweight which doesn't help.
I find talking to a trusted friend helpful when I feel low and trying to do small things you feel able to do eg going to the shops, going for a walk etc
I do hope you feel happier soon.
katehippy kim63383
Posted
Kim, I completely understand that feeling of " I used to be beautiful" I'm 47 and spent years either avoiding the attention of others or misusing it... (Men are easily led...)
Most of the time i can convince myself that it's just my age / my new shape / there's nothing i can do about it.... And then i see those 50 somethings who live in the gym and survive on coffee!!
We get caught in a cycle don't we? I could be better, i should do more.....
I hate regrets but will always wish i'd made the most of my beauty while i had it, probably a lot of women feel the same.
Bethany is right - small things to start with ( stuff that makes you feel good that isn't food or alcohol) And GP ... It's a f**cker but if you're not going to do it, you need to get a way to get through it...
Lots of love to you, and keep in touch xx
wayne1962 kim63383
Posted
Hi Kim - yes, talk to your doctor. One of the less salubrious aspects of being human is the emphasis we put on external "beauty" as if it is a measure of our worth. Another is worrying how other people think of us. Their cruelties can reinforce a negative self perception, and then they win. they have control, not ourselves. I expect it would be hard to find anyone who would not want to go back in time and have that flexible, resiliant youth again, but let's be realistic. You can have control over your body to an extent, and the first step is determination and focus. Start small, walking daily, changing diet, letting go of negative habits. Make that appointment with the doc and discuss you concerns. The first thing on the agenda is the depression you are experiencing. Meds may be prescribed to balance your mood. When you are feeling better, trake action. There will be groups where you can be among people like you seeking a new life. There will be all the support and encouragement you need to help make a new you. Go for it.