I just found out I have Genital Herpes HSV-2 and not sure if my wife is going to ask me to leave.

She is just overreacting ..

It takes some serious time getting use to.

How do you have it and she doesn't ?

How long have you guys been married?

I think that you guys need to sit down and talk.

Suppressive medicine will definitely help you guys out in this situation . And please let your wife know that you can only pass this disease on through shedding through sexual contact so there is no visual way for your kids to catch it.

I really feel for you. You need to ask your wife to do some research on it so she can understand the virus. Not a lot of people understand that just having a coldsore means you have herpes. You shouldn't be treated as diseased at is a very common virus that more than 80% of the population has. Passing herpes on through sharing towels is usually disregarded as it doesn't usually happen as herpes is passed on from skin on skin contact so it's very unlikely that you pass it on to your children especially as it is genital herpes! As for your wife, if she understands it a bit more she may be willing to be intimate again. If you're not having a breakout there is a low chance of passing it on without a condom. Kissing will not spread the virus as it is your genital area that is infected. I know the fear you are experiencing as the boyfriend who gave me herpes recently left me, so I know how you feel.  Hope this helps a bit and I hope your wife starts understanding it more

First, it is possible to have type 2 orally and genitally. The blood test cannot distinguish location of the infection. I am sure my type 2 is in both locations because I've had classic oral sores that were not canker sores and I still get this crack in one location, always the same lip. The infectious disease dr told me if it is recurring orally, it is not likely strong enough there to infect from that location.

However, regarding children, to be on the safe side, I do not share cups or utensils or toothbrush or anything else with my child, I am on antivirals, and I generally kiss my child on his shirt esp if I feel anything abnormal. We do not share towels and I clean the tub after baths (i don't worry about showers, but I feel sitting in water in the same tub is different). Some of this is probably unnecessary, but I prefer erring on the safe side.

Regarding your spouse, sexual transmission is the main concern but if it hasn't transmitted yet then maybe it won't. Going on suppressive medication and avoiding sex during an outbreak will reduce any odds of transmission.

As far as it changing your relationship, this can lie dormant for years and is often transmitted when people have no symptoms or nothing recognizable. So I don't see why this should change your relationship- nothing has changed, you are just more aware of when you are potentially more infectious and some would argue that's a good thing. Others would argue it's not helpful for you or her to know, and often I wish I was never diagnosed either. Because diagnosis causes psychosocial problems that are often worse than the skin condition itself. It might be helpful for both of you to sit down with the dr who diagnosed you, so she can hear from them what the risk is (and has been for years without any consequence) and why this should not damage your relationship.

Hi rolnovru

Just interested to know if u know how u contracted the virus?

The reason i ask is that we can have it for years but not know it bcos it can lay dormant in our bodies without having an outbreak.

Iv had it for 15 years now and been with my husband for 6 years. We have never used a condom and he has never contracted it bcos I know when I'm about to get an outbreak so i tell him so that we don't have sex at that time.

It's never been a problem for him or me.

Do u have cold sores on ur mouth or genital herpes?

If ur wife gets cold sores on her mouth and has performed oral sex then it could have actually been her that gave it to u?

But if not then maybe sit down and talk with her and explain that it won't affect her ,it just means u can't have sex when u have an outbreak.

It is right not to share towels and flannels that u use bcos when u have an outbreak it's very contagious.

But it's really not as bad as some people think.

There are so many misconceptions about herpes - even from people who have it..

It doesn't live outside the body for that long so honestly even if you did share a towel - its very safe to say no you will not pass it on to anyone like that (unless you had an outbreak then MAYBE)!

You probably dont shed very much to not have given it to your wife (so maybe you are not very contagious when you are feeling well).  I'm understanding from what youre saying that you havent cheated or put yourself in a situation to catch herpes since being married?  So yes be careful as your wife is apprehensive.. but please.. you dont have to be avoided and treated any differently. Maybe you can find a good Doctor and take your wife with you to have a chat about how small the risk really is when youre careful? 

Have you ever had a cold sore on your mouth? If not, its also unlikely that you have it orally - perhaps only genitally. Which in my opinion is kind of better and not as easy to transmit in daily activities. If you only have it genitally, it cannot be passed through kissing or sharing utensils.

My family member has oral cold sores - no one, not the kids or his wife have contracted it. 

I'm going to also suggest - if you havent cheated - is there any possibility that she has?  Perhaps she could get tested too. Might also explain her distance from you.