I just need some help

Posted , 4 users are following.

I've never done this before so new to this whole concept, but I've been going through quite a tough time in the past 5 months and just now need some help so I ask that you have patient when reading this I just need advice from other people. This all started because of a guy who I'd be going out with for a year and a half and then things just ended, he meant the world to me and it made me so unhappy when it all ended. But then time after time he came back putting things in my head which he knew I'd fall for, and it led to much worse places. The first time this happened I nearly lost all of my friends I stopped eating, I started to self harm, and just was at such a low point I couldn't see anyway forward expect to end it all and it seemed that everyone would have been better off. These suicidal thoughts scared me so much, but eventually I started to get a little better. Until it happened for the second and third time, and now I have lost all of my friends for good. They all don't want anything I do with me and this guy just played me off. I've been delusional in this whole situation believing everything I hear. Yet I've been here so many times I feel I'm just going round in circles constantly and always being the one at the bottom of the pit, left by myself, with no one.

I've hit a very low point, I don't have energy to carry on with this life like this. I feel I've been in the position too many times now, the fact that I probably do it to myself is what makes it worse. My friends have said that I do, I haven't got any of them now, I don't want to lose them but it's too late and now I'm scared. I'm scared of what's going to happen, I have a tendency to over think things a lot and then panic myself even more over hypothetical situations which haven't even happened. I'm terrified of this. I've got scars reminding me everyday how horrific I've felt for these past few months and now I don't know what to do. I isolate myself at times like that this because for me it seems better than facing the truth, but now I feel alone and I can't trust anyone or just even talk to anyone because no one wants to hear. I do not have the energy to go through what I've felt in the past, I can't do it all again I am not a strong enough person to pick myself back up I just can't do it.

I need help, from anyone who is willing to listen I just don't know what to do with myself and I have so many negative thoughts I'm genuinely terrified.

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Hati,

    I think that you have become emotionally drained from the relationship and maybe some of your friends opinions.

    Maybe you need a break to regroup and get your thoughts in order.

    Not trusting everyone just because of one person's failings is never a good idea.

    So give yourself some treats and enjoy being on your own for a bit before charging into any unwanted relationships with men.


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  • Posted

    It feels a lot more complicated than that at the moment. I admit I probably am emotionally drained but it's more than just that. I feel I have a problem I don't feel well in myself, as it's other things that snowball on top of these problems as well which make everything a lot worse.

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  • Posted

    Hi hati

    Don't blame yourself if you had true feelings for this person it would be normal to hope to get back together again and unfortunately he took advantage of this time and time again, I would do the same in your position, accept that the relationship has finished and try to move on your friends if true friends will understand the position you were in and the choices you made, if they can't then that's up to them, give yourself some time to heal don't shut yourself away you will feel worse than ever, have you any family you can talk to about what's happened would they be able to support you through this time. Try to be a little kinder to yourself everyone makes mistakes we are only human and not perfect at everything.

    Take care Sue

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  • Posted

    I believe I'm in your situation...I'm in a bad relationship if 3 yes (as I posted earlier), and I'm so lifeless and drained. I feel I've been re wired by my bf, giving up everything for him so I am left with nothing but shattered self esteem. I'm broken, and people tell me to leave, but where do I go? my parents hate me for dating him, and I lost my job, and zero friends. I tried calling a free 1 800 crisis line a few times, but it left me wondering more, and quite blankly felt 50x shittier than before...but that's just me.

    Im on medical leave, so money is tight, while trying to built up my business is near impossible while dealing with both physical and mental issues. Not to mention I gave up my apartment to live with him...now ending up under his parents roof. Nightmare. Every time I leave for my parents, some drama happens, then he convinces me how things will be better. And I just go with it. Cause last time I left, like you, was a walk way to my deathbed. And I'm utterly terrified of going on my own, cause if I fail, it will forever prove me wrong...that I should have stayed. So what do I do in my catch 22?

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  • Posted

    Hi Hati and all. Please remember that our mistakes are all part of the process of growing and learning. It is the journey we make. As adults we are wired thinking that our growing is more or less over and we should know how to deal with what life gives us, today. I have found, through some painful lessons that we never stop learning and as long as we are prepared to listen and learn from these experiences then life can become much improved. I also have a belief that we are never alone, we all have a guardian angel with us and looks over us. But we must do the footwork. I have found some places on the internet that give out Daily Affirmations and these can help enormously to focus on the good things in life and divert my mind away from everyday issues that become so overwhelming at times. People come and go into and out of our lives, some of them have issues of their own and try to dump those issues onto us, making us feel worse. Try to concentrate on yourself, be self kind, after all you are the most important person you have. If you can get that right then others around you will see this and act positively with you. Take care all.
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