I'll have to give it a go

Friday would or will be stock up in the house go to the pub order two pints of guinness when i walked in as the first wouldnt touch the sides then another 2 maybe 3 before going home to cook a meal and start drinking my stock a la Keith Floyd while cooking, making sure food would not be ready untill ive downed my beers then i could justify opening the wine to have with the meal

i suppose i dont see my self as an alcoholic because i dont get up at 8 am and reach for a drink but i do realise i have a problem but am i ready to admit i have a problem and as i said its early days  

day 3 ahead

The people were lovely, but I would could home more depressed..I look back on those ten years of ABSOLUTE hell, it seems like a different life....but I still wake every morning and thank god that I have recovered....twelve and a half years sober....

I found cas more helpful and my psychiatrist...not so keen on the four sections...but they worked....

It is hard giving up, but it gets easier with time...listen to Paul's advice. He is very sensible and knowledgeable...very many congratulations to you on your achievement. You like me have made a great change in our lives too....I urge others, nust keep trying,...if you slip up, we all have many of those !!! Just pick yourself up and try again, and again, and again...you will get there in the end...regards..Deirdre xx

the mrs was brilliant offering me soda water when she was getting a drink

instead of automatically getting a guinness 

bit of a glich i suppose but its early days hope to hear from my councillor this week

Read this if you like: "Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people.

The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery.

The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals –usually brief—were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.

We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better. We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men. We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse.

Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn’t done so yet.

Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of selfdeception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore non-alcoholic.

If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!

Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums—we could increase the list ad infinitum."

Read this if you like: "Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people.

The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery.

The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals –usually brief—were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.

We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better. We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men. We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse.

Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn’t done so yet.

Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of selfdeception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore non-alcoholic.

If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!

​Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums—we could increase the list ad infinitum."

I survived a near death car crash and this obviously changed my life since I walked away withot even a migraine...was doing 90 miles per hour, smashed into the central steel barrier and drove into a ditch and drove at an angle of approx 30 degrees but still fast at 80 miles at least. Car overturned 180 degrees of half circle, landed on the roof and then skidded for 32.5metres,,yes, the police measured this. Went to hospital with internal injures and 2 broken ribs and some glass in my hand where my  watch had been torn off my wrist and also some skin...back to work after 2 weeks and no scars...Move on: I was even more hyper and carried on drinking for years but stopped 2 1/2 years ago..why??  My small children and too much to live for..only advice I can give is that IF you have something truly worth living for and wishing to live longer without drinking then that is my advice. It worked for me 100%

The passage above that I added and you referred to helped to get me sober. It took me a few more returns to the drink and the attendant suffering first (one of which you described in your story) until I listened to the passage and accepted it as me. Then my journey into sobriety began.