I love my partner, and I want to support, but things have been insane.

I found this website, and I am hoping that I could get help, both with helping my partner (non-binary) and helping me feel less overwhelmed and hopeless. My partner and I have been together for a year and 8 months. I love them dearly and I am willing to help them with just about anything. I have helped and still help with bandaging, boil care, hygiene, support, everything. The only problem is that they have not been wanting any help, and at this point it has become extremely worrisome. When we were first dating, their HS was not so bad. It was barely affecting them and we were able to do pretty much anything. But after they moved in with me in October last year, their HS has been terrible. If it is not their knees being affected, it is the lesions. They are everywhere. Armpits, under the buttocks, neck, under their breasts, on their sides, everywhere. We have tried several things to alleviate the symptoms, from two different dermatologists, to ER visits, to two different Rheumatologists, to home remedies, to making swaps, everything. And it keeps just getting worse. It has gotten to the point where they wail and groan in pain doing just about anything and it tears me apart to hear them in such pain. Sometimes we stay up until 5 in the morning because they do not want to get up from the couch and go to bed because it is too painful and I refuse to leave their side, because I would feel awful just for leaving them alone. Surgery has been a pain to get because their insurance is being so stupid and we have to drive almost 3 hours to and from the specialist they need to see. I love them, but I am so damn overwhelmed. I do not know how to help, because they will not let me help them to move around and to find more alternatives. Dressing their wounds is nearly impossible because of where they are and the pain is inconsolable. The only pain medicine that works is the stuff you get for surgery, which we can not get it because again, no insurance. Their mother can not pay for medical treatment, and we are almost broke to the point of eviction and I am the only one that can make the money to keep the apartment we are in. And we are both college students that can not find jobs so that only makes the situation worse. Both of us are extremely stressed with my partner having suicidal thoughts and I am to the end of my wits trying to keep everything together. Long story short, we are hopeless. And we have no idea how to get their condition under control, because nothing is working and we have no idea when we can get the skin grafts to end this insanity. How can we cope and how can I help my partner from their suffering?

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