i'm 17 years old girl
Posted , 5 users are following.
NOWi feel nothing , so empty , so loser
Previously i was depressed
after i had a big surgery that stopped me from doing things i love ,, it was on my back so i cant sit a lot for reading or surfing or even walking for long time or do whatever , beside i feel pain all the time
And then I left school even though I was the best student in my school
i got 2 sad n hard years , and no one stand by me esp my parents they never help me but bitting me , telling bad things about me . doesn't help me to study or do anything as all the parents do
i wanted to get scholarship so i can travel , study , and start a new life , but i cant cuz they didint allow me to go to anywhere for studying ENGLISH for toefl ,or taking math n other classes so then i can look for scholarship
while all my friends having a good time and study things they love n need,, n thier parents love them
and I , my everyday is sad day , i cry , i feel so weak , so bad , n i hated my dreams , im staying in my room n no one will ever help me
they even cut off the intrnet so i cant study english or anything, however i cant speak cuz i leaned by myself n have no back ground ....
the point that i feel im a loser n will not achive my dreams, cuz i dont have a help or situtions ,,,,
1 like, 3 replies
julian33896 rimi85131
Posted
Why aren't you in school? Where are you now using the Internet? And where are you from? Your situation sounds tough but like everything it will pass and you will find your happiness
Angelmate rimi85131
Posted
You sound like your on a merry go round that you can't seem to get off,are your parents strict? Maybe they don't understand the pressure their putting on you so you end up down and depressed, all I can say is if you can't talk to them try to talk to another family member, if that doesn't work I know there are many hotlines you can call
I know everything seems bleed at the moment but you are a child with a lot of potential, your not useless your not a nobody, you are a young lady who has a lot of potential prove your parents wrong show them what you have to offer this world,I know how hard it is I too am ill and disabled I had a career I loved I was a nurse my dad said I would never amount to anything like you I believed them until one day, I had made up my mind I was going to kill myself, thank god I didn't!
I showed my parents I could do the impossible and I became someone.
Sadly after being a nurse for almost 27yrs my life changed I was attacked and kept prisoner for 4 nights and 5 days by vile pigs who almost killed me and I prayed that I would die after what them pigs did to me I want in an unhappy marriage at the time and I had a child so I planned my death but once again I was given a choice live or die, I chose to live.
Everyday since then I live in severe chronic pain I am on morphine and antidepressants but I am alive and although I get frustrated and angry and yes some days I beg to die instead I write a list of pros and cons then I see I maybe disabled but I am a person who has a reason to live, even when I'm screaming in pain I know their are children who don't have a chance to grow up I've seen 5yr children fight to live sadly they end up dying I've nursed so many terminally ill people young and old believe me when you witness that it gives you a reason to live.
I can't tell you how to live your life but I can tell you YOU have a lot to live for even when your screaming in your head that you want to die, death won't take away your pain but you have a reason to live there are many on here who DO care don't give up all my love Maria x
blad4 rimi85131
Posted
There are two things, I think, that you need to start realising yourself.
1) Recover physically. Improve your body and recapture it's ability
2) Find a better environment and happiness in your head.
Am I right? Or are there more