I'm 21 and a virgin

Posted , 4 users are following.

I'm in a bit of a struggle here. I'm currently 21 and still a virgin, it's depressing and has me really low because I also have never had a girlfriend or ever been with someone. I want to learn and experience sex for the first time but I want it to be with someone I love and care for so much instead of just a temporary hi and by kind of thing. I do masturbate to have some sort of experience and relief, but honestly I want a partner. I know this is a silly thing to be down about but lately it has been frustrating me. I'm still waiting for the right girl to be with, a lot of people have been saying to have sex and meet a random girl to just get it off my head and over with. But in my heart that's not for me, Its just very odd to do that cause I feel it will ruin me. I'm just starting to be introduced to these new feelings, I have just recently been stood up into thinking I was getting somewhere in a long distance. And also my first time with sex hopefully but I everything went downhill soon. It always crosses my mind everyday and I don't know how to deal with it, but I also don't want to rush this. I do not know what kind of response I will get back from some of you but maybe one of you have felt what I am rightnow.

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    Let me say that you are congratulated.

    Young people today jump into and out of bed with anyone they fancy, and this is probably why STI's are so very much on the increase.

    Believe me, your time will come when you are good and ready, and when it does please try to ensure that the person you are involved with is right for you.

    By the 'right' person I mean someone who you not only feel good, at ease and at total peace with, but also someone who you know you can trust.

    Have a great life.

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    • Posted

      Thanks, I mean most people expect me to just lose it and go to another. Truth is I have morals, my father was never really around when I was young. My mother raised me herself most of the time, which is why I'm not disrespectful at all. I myself can't just sleep with a random person and call it a night and leave, no that's just too unreal. Some of my friends don't understand because they've already had their experience but they've had different relationships from time to time and that's not how I want my time to be. Call me old fashioned but I will take love, sex, and feelings seriously. I'm just tired of being like this...
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    • Posted

      You are to be congratulated like Archemeds says.  Not only that when you do find that right partner you are going to have an amazing relationship. I would advise that fairly early in the friendship you let your partner know you are a virgin and tell them why.  It will probably put them more at ease knowing they don't need to feel uncomfortable around you because you won't try to jump them.  It is wonderful that you want that friendship and relationship before you have a sexual relationship. High intensity sex does wane over time and if that is all the relationship is then it isn't going to last. If you have that friendship going first the intensity part hangs around a whole lot longer. Best of luck to you.  You are my shining star!  I'm very impressed with you.
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    • Posted

      Yes, I do kind of feel that my time will come sometime. Because wow this past let down/set up changed me in many ways and I feel I've learned so much from it. I was hurt but it's hard to move on, and that person had experience many times and I didn't. Am I the only one this age as a virgin or are there others? It just seems all the people I'm around have had sex, they always ask me why I haven't done anything. I'm just waiting for the right one, but I do feel I'm ready. I can't really be sure, it's just how I feel honestly. I get poked at sometimes, and it makes it worse. I'm very shy as well, and I also may be extremely nervous in my first time because of my body. I'm self conscious, I'm not a big guy anymore I've dropped a lot of weight. It's just me being afraid of what they'll think of me..
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    • Posted

      Really? I don't know, maybe when the time comes I'll be comfortable with them and my body. But for now I just need a distraction, I really miss the one I talked to but long distance doesn't last. And I never got a chance to meet her in person, it's just left me in a wreck and I feel stuck with all of these thoughts and feelings.
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    • Posted

      Still as regular as the rest of us. We all have doubt and insecurity. When we get our hopes up and they are crushed and that is the way we feel.  It leaves a huge empty hole that we physically feel even though it is just as you say our thoughts and feelings. Of course knowing this doesn't make it all go away, and knowing everyone has these feelings at one time or another doesn't make it any less personal as if we are the only one that feels this way and no one else can truly understand what we are going through. But we have or still are going through it. So we do get it. I truly wish no one had to go through it, but perhaps it is something we need to go through in order to grow, and have empathy for others dealing with it. X
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    • Posted

      I'll just be patient because I amaze myself how I still fight through everything and keep going. Even if the going gets tough, it makes me even tougher. Yes I'm hurt, but I know one day I'll make it, just hope I get through this soon. I was never like this, I was to myself and happy. But after this set up, in a blink of an eye things turned. And you have a point, these things happen in order for us to grow more and be prepared for the better.
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  • Posted

    I'm 31 and still a virgin, I will die a virgin too due to anxiety and developmental/communication issues. It's very depressing sometimes, to never get to know someone, to love, hell, just to have a bloody conversation. Yes I am messed up to the nth degree.

    Hopefully I die of peaceful natural causes before I go insane or kill myself. It's only bad sometimes, I usually can keep my mind distracted.

    I have never held a girls hand, never kissed,, never had an actual friend, never nothing, never will.

    So you see, things could be worse, cheer up.

     

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