I'm a very calm person, How can I be social?

Posted , 7 users are following.

I'm a very very calm person. I'm a male 22 yeas old. I was in university, with my friends preparing for the project of the final year. We were 7 persons in one room. There was a list that contains 28 projects and we were trying to choose one of them to be our project. They were joking, having fun, kidding, laughing and sharing opinions for two hours. I was silent listening to them during the two hours. They thought I'm sad and angry of them. One of them take me a lone and asked my if I'm comfortable with them. I told him I'm not angry I'm just calm. he said that he don't understand my behaviours and he thought that I feel angry and I did not tell him why. I did not tell him the truth.

How Can I say sorry to my friends? I'm sure that they are talking about me behind my back. Should I leave the group and move to another one?

What can I do to be social? I don't find ideas in my mind to say and I don't find the perfect time to interrupt people.

Thank you very much,

1 like, 7 replies

Report / Delete

7 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Mickey smile

    Thanks for sharing!

    There is nothing wrong with you trust me.

    You're just more of the quiet type and that's totally fine!

    I think when you're still young and at school it can be a little challenging at times because you are surrounded everyday by lots of different types of people and personalities.

    It's all about learning to understand and respect each other. You shouldn't have to change or do something you're not comfortable with just to make others feel better or to fit in. Be yourself and you will always be happy and content in life. This is how you will succeed too.

    Sometimes people aren't used to seeing people that are different from them in any way or if they do something that's different to them. Just in a calm way explain to them that everything is okay and that this is simply who you are. Just a quiet laid back type of guy wink

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    I took a course for a Youth Leader position and part of the course was been locked in a room for the weekend with six strangers and fed organisation problems from member problems management, drugs an other thing they could make up to get us thincking out the box. The only time we were out the room was to eat and sleep. It was very intensive and we were forced to get on and work together.

    Sometimes we have to be able to work in a group and our views do need to be taken into consideration. If this was the case these people were right to ask you these baited questions as your year may rely on what you were doing.

    I know how hard it is to get on with people who you do not know and this can be very much marked if we are insular in our outlook. In a work environment sometimes we also sometimes need to act as a team and think blue sky.

    You do not need to get on with everyone all you do need to do is let them know your thoughts in shortened phrases to get your points and suggestions over.

    It is part of your course you need to contribute.

    BOB

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    hi i don't understand as being 'calm' has nothing to do with not being able to laugh and joke with people!  sounds more like a flat mood or social anxiety?

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Mickey - so sorry to read of your dilemma. If you want to stay in that group and want to clear the air, you could tell them all when assembled just what sort of person you are. If that is not comfortable for you, you could write it and let them read it. When people meet for the first few times, they are all an unknown quantity. It takes time for any group to assume it's various postions/social framework. I think it's wonderful that you are a calm person - I was always the jokey one and people came to expect it, to the point where they never took me seriously. Often I wished I was the silent, calm, thinking person that you seem to be. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you being you. If they can't handle it, find another group. It's their loss. 

    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up