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There is nothing left here for me. I have done everything I want to do. My attainable goals have been fulfilled. I have nothing keeping me here. I am 56 years old and in constant physical pain. I don't have a home anymore. I'm living with my parents because I can't afford to live on my own...the father who has abused me all my life and the mother who has allowed it. I don't understand why God won't just let me die. I'M ALREADY DEAD but my body hasn't gotten the memo. I wake up each day like an automaton just to do the same things over again and again with no pleasure or fulfillment. There is no source of joy for me on the Earth anymore. Sure, my family would miss me if I were gone, but it would have to be better than watching me just be here dead. I know that I wouldn't want any of my family to go on this way. I'd rather see them dead than to be dead but not released.
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