I'm already dead

Edited , 3 users are following.

There is nothing left here for me. I have done everything I want to do. My attainable goals have been fulfilled. I have nothing keeping me here. I am 56 years old and in constant physical pain. I don't have a home anymore. I'm living with my parents because I can't afford to live on my own...the father who has abused me all my life and the mother who has allowed it. I don't understand why God won't just let me die. I'M ALREADY DEAD but my body hasn't gotten the memo. I wake up each day like an automaton just to do the same things over again and again with no pleasure or fulfillment. There is no source of joy for me on the Earth anymore. Sure, my family would miss me if I were gone, but it would have to be better than watching me just be here dead. I know that I wouldn't want any of my family to go on this way. I'd rather see them dead than to be dead but not released.

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  • Edited

    hi, i don't really know you're name but that doesn't matter. you are the 2nd person i"ve spoken to who doesn't to be here. what is the world coming to? i am so sorry to hear this. have you spoken to someone about the abuse you have suffered over the years? this i think is what is making you sad. why can't you live somewhere else where someone else can pay your rent? you need to get as far away from your abusers as you can. i think it's suffocating you. someone out there will want you alive and will be saddened if anything happened to you. you must preserve your own life, get your self some abuse support and talk openly and honestly. i can't forgive my mother for watching whilst i tried to cope with rape and stood by and made my immediate family ignore it! you are stronger than your abusers, you just must let it all come out. keep talking on here, THIS wasn't your fault and still isn't.

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