I'm angry all the time since his diagnosis

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My little boy just turned 2 1/2 and was diagnosed with asd 5 months ago. It changed me in a lot of ways. I'm not used to opening up about my feelings and not one of those guys that is on social media so bear with me.

I've always been a rough and tumble, depressed and angry ,alpha male type my whole life. I had a troubled upbringing in NYC and felt like I could take on anything the world throws at me. My boy was born right before I turned 26 and I made a conscious effort to be more of a actual human being that shows emotion.

I work very hard now I have a successful business and live well. I naively thought my personal

life's problems were over and depression and intense anger were behind me.

When my son was diagnosed I learned how wrong I was. I can't sleep right ,I can't socialize right and I'm just not the same person. I am unrecognizable to myself. I'm beginning to think I am autistic currently, which wouldn't be a surprise to me.

I just wanted to get this off my chest and I hope I will be able to cope one day. I plan on seeing a therapist soon. My family has been wonderful, his early intervention teachers have been wonderful and I plan on putting him in private school when he turns 3.

My son is a beautiful kid and I just want him to have the same opportunities as any normal child,teenager and young adult would have.

Thanks for listening.

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  • Posted

    Hi  sorry to learn that your son has been diagnosed with autism. I think that is hard for all parents. I am glad that you are going to see a therapist as it may help you sort out your feelings. It may be that as you are finding out more about the condition, you are recognising traits that you see in yourself. It is possible that you may have Aspergers. It can run in families. When our son was diagnosed with autism, my husband took it very badly. For days he laid in the floor staring at the ceiling and refusing to talk to anyone. We all want the best for our children and worry for their future, so it is only natural to feel upset and even angry. 

    The main thing is to make sure we he is loved and looked after with all the support he needs. But above all we need to learn how to manage them and be understanding of how the autism will affect them and why their behavoir may be off the scale at times. 

    You are welcome to talk to me about it, although I am in England . All the best to you in this journey with your son. 

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  • Posted

    Hugs to you!

    First of all, your son is lucky to have you and vice-versa!  You don't mention his mother, so if she's in the picture, please try your hardest to be a team and do what's best for your son...together.  It sounds like you have a great plan, already!

    You say you have a successful business - congratulations!  You work hard and like to be your own boss so you can make the decisions and have that level of control. Nothing wrong with that, Mdot, it's just how you are.  Autism, or any disorder, though is not like that. You can't "fix" this,  you can't change it or take it away...I think that's part of why this is so hard for you. You'd probably give anything and even take it on yourself, if it would just make your son "normal". But, you can't and that frustration (loss of control) would make LOTS of people angry. You're not alone!  Are you still in NYC? I'll bet there's a support group out there you could join and connect with other parents just like you. (Or, maybe some are more "zen" about it and that could help you, too.)  Therapy sounds like a wonderful idea!  Whether or not you're on the spectrum, you know you have a strong personality and you've found exactly how to manage it so that you use your powers for good. That's awesome, and that same intensity is going to help your son, I don't doubt that at all. smile

    Take a deep breath and hang in there! I'm happy your family is a good support network for you and that you've found the right teachers and therapists.  Best of luck to you all!

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  • Posted

    Mdot631, just know that being the best possible parent you can be is all you can do, and for most, if not all children on the spectrum, that is sufficient. Many children on the spectrum go on to live independent lives with the right therapy and specialized education. Recently I’ve come upon many articles outlining the positive effects of stem cell therapy in treating autistic patients both young and old. The treatment is effective in enhancing cognition and improving communication. Check out Stem Cell of America if you want to read more about it. Best of luck to you and stay positive!
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  • Posted

    Hi there! Diagnosis is the most crucial stage for the parents of children with ASD. It is overwheming and involves a great deal of emotions. You are exactly at this stage. You may be feeling a bit too hard since you've had everything sorted out before the diagnosis and also, you're wondering how this may effect your child in the long run.

    Relax. Initially, after the diagnosis most of the parents tend to become depressed and worry about their children. Since, you've not yet visited your therapist you may not exactly understand what your child is going through and what his requirements are. But trust me, once you start the therapy and begin to accept this change, everthing will fall into it's place. 

    No you do not have Autism. I'ts just a phase and soon you will be out of this, I promise.

    First thing you need to do is ACCEPT. Accept that your child has Autism. Accept that you will be facing a lot of changes in your lifestyle as well as in your child's life and also ensure yourself that you'd be okay no matter what and you will support your child in everything. 

    Next, UNDERSTAND your child. Understand what he wants. Understand what he likes or what he dislikes and try avoiding them. This helps a lot for the therapy too. Understand his needs and lend him support accordingly. 

    Join Autism groups/networks. Yes, there are plenty of online or social communities that have similar parents. Knowing that you have a support system is a great relief and it keeps you reminding the fact that you are not alone in this.

    Be educated. Know everything about Autism, ongoing research on it and available therapies that best suit your child. 

    Each day you spend with an Autistic child is a rollercoaster that has ups and downs. Make sure to live it graciously. All the best. smile

     

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  • Posted

    Hi,

    I can relate to your pain. I am so sorry you are going through this. I suppose in time we learn to cope with our lot, for what it is.

    It's important to know that as your son grows he will overcome an array of difficulties and make you so proud. I have a child who i never dreamed would be able to read, aged 6 he started reading everything!

    You are doing a great job. The diagnoses was made early; that will have a positive impact on his learning support. We had to wait until our first child with Aspergers was 5 for a diagnoses.

    ?The love we have for our children can bring us to our knees, when we see them struggling. It is important that you have support and time for yourself along the way. Feelings can be very difficult to deal with and I applaud you for planning on seeing a therapist. Best wishes to you and yours!

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  • Posted

    It takes a bit of getting used to. Your reaction is really quite normal! Loads of dadsstruggle harder with diagnoses tham moms- (I think it's the physical bond through moms- I kinda knew from earlier on he was different to the other children, whereas his daddy was in shock!). You don't say how deeply  on the spectrum your little boy is, but no matter how he is affected, you will find, in time, he is not his ASD, he is your son. And you will be as proud, and happy as any other parent in the school yard. 

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