I'm back...

Posted , 2 users are following.

Things have gone really downhill for me lately.

I'm feeling fat again. I want to stop eating, stop pigging out, get thin again.

I don't belong at this university. Not a good one like this. Maybe not any university. I've been in tears so much lately, I can't handle this, I'm seriously considering dropping out again - for good this time, no coming back.

I'm turning to alcohol as a coping mechanism. I'm craving cigarettes - even though I've never been a smoker, I feel they'd really help if I smoked them, but I don't want to become a smoker. How stupid is this?

I'm especially craving illegal drugs. To help me cope.

And, as much as cit made me feel like a crazy person, because I was on medication to stay sane, to be like everyone else is without meds... And as much as I began to hate myself for having to take them... I'm really thinking I need to go back on them now.

Should I?

I don't know what to do.

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Frogella

    I'm really sorry to hear you are suffering again :cry:

    Yes, yes and yes, please do go back on them. Look what you achieved last time.

    Perhaps this time, stay on them until your course has ended?

    One thing is for sure - DO NOT quit uinversity until you have spoken to your doctor and got things sorted out again.

    You did well last time, there is no reason why you can't this time.

    love 'n' hugs

    Melbi xxxx

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  • Posted

    Frogerella, if Citalopram helped you in the past then yes, don't be afraid or ashamed to turn to them for support again. It's an old analogy but it still holds good; if you had a broken leg, you wouldn't feel bad about using a crutch - it's the same thing really.

    And definitely, 100% don't drop out of University while you're feeling so low. You're there because you have talent and ability. Dropping out won't ultimately help you feel better. Talk to your doctor, let him/her know how you are feeling and the thoughts in your head and don't be afraid to ask for help to get you through this. We all need someone's help and support, encouragement and strength at some stage in our lives. One day, someone will need yours.

    Take care, our thoughts are with you.

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  • Posted

    Went to the doctor today.

    Back on 20mg.

    Took my first one a while ago.

    I'd forgotten how it made my head feel funny for the first few weeks last time I took it...

    I feel dizzy.

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  • Posted

    Congratulations Frogerella :D

    You took the right step and can now start back on the road to recovery.

    It takes a strong person to ask for help - keep going :D

    Melbi x

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  • Posted

    Woke up and felt like I had a hangover today.

    Except... minus drinking the alcohol prior to it.

    I forgot that particular side effect, too. Hello, citalopram, you're back in my life and making me feel it!

    But I know from last time that this won't last. It'll become positive eventually. I just need to get it to stay this time.

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  • Posted

    hey stay in there I think you are a very strong person to admit you are \"feeling not yourself\" To ask for help is a positive thing because it helps all the people you love as well as your self

    advice......try not to shout/cry tooooooo much it draws unwanted attention ,try to smile brightly and think \"what a looser\" xxxxx

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