I'm Constantly Worried About Cancer, I Don't Know What To Do?

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Please read all of this before commenting to get a better understanding. I'm going through a bit of a bad time at the moment, and not knowing where to turn. I'm asking as I'm in constant torment that my symptoms could be cancer of some kind. 

I'm 30, female, Hypthyroid (medicated), PCOS, don't drink, never smoked, sedentary lifestyle (work at home) and suffer with anxiety and depression.

I had a bad bacterial infection and flu back at the beginning of March, and before that a viral infection that came out in a rash on my arms, chest and abdomen.

Past few weeks, I've had a sore aching left shoulder blade that goes up the side too, and sometimes, I get a tenderness in the ribs below my left shoulder blade. I've seen the doctors, who have said it is muscle related, something to do with the scapula etc. I had a blood test back in December to check for pancreatitis, normal. 

I get regular blood tests for my underactive thyroid.

In the last 5 months, I've had 3 ECG's because I've had such horrendous panic attacks, because I felt like my chest was tight, breathless or short of breath etc. ECG was fine, but my doctor got me an appointment for a 24hr heart monitor. I also had like acid reflux or indigestion for a while, made me feel like my upper chest was tight and full of air, so I belch an awful lot. It eases down now and then. Few months ago, I had a blood test for pancreatitis, that came back normal. I've had physical examinations by the doctors too, they have used Oximeters as well, my oxygen levels are usually normal, as is my heart rate.

I was at the doctors 3 times this week, because I've been bursting out crying, panicking and feeling hysterical. They checked me over, 2 days ago, my doctor did another ECG, which was fine again, as was the Oximeter and my lungs and chest he said. Today I went to my doctor again, as yesterday, my right leg went heavy and weak, and I panicked, burst into tears and thought it was Guillain Burres Syndrome. OVER the last week, I've got a rash on the back of my neck, very pale, but itchy, showed my doctor last week, he said it could be ezcema, which I had when I was a teenager behind my knees. WHAT IF IT'S NOT???

She examined me today, did that tool thing to your knees where they hit it with a small instrument, my knee went straight forward from the sensation. I also discussed not having periods for 3 months, but had a scan last year which showed PCOS, she said that if it was Ovarian cancer like I was worried about, the scan would have showed something, and women with PCOS have missed periods, and with my extreme high anxiety and stress, is a likely cause too.

The leg is better today, but last few days, my left should blade has been aching and very tender, not to touch or anything like, but sometimes it can feel achy when you touch around that area.  It comes and goes, some days I won't get anything, just a bit of cracking or popping in the shoulder blade, other days it can flare up, and be aching and in the back left ribs as well, just feels uncomfortable.

Then I worry about my shoulder blade and rib aching and tenderness, and all the other things I've gotten, like indigestion, like food/acidy comes up sometimes, not often but sometimes.

Or I get really upset if I get a bit itchy somewhere on my body, as that is always a sign of cancer. My pee is clear to a light yellow, So many things I get upset by, I've been to the doctor 3 times this week, and am now on my 2nd day of Propranolol 80mg. Feel a little lightheaded, sometimes short of breath but could be me panicking because my heart rate is slower.

I feel like I'm going mad!? It's so exhausting constantly thinking about all these things. I live in constant fear of this, cancers and stuff, and the doctors missing something. I'm exhausted and drained by it, I sit in bed most of the day now, beside getting up to do a few chores, I barely go out anymore either, I start getting panicky and my symptoms FLARE up, so I stay in bed. 

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi,

    I would think that your gp needs to sort out your possible anxiety and depression first.

    We can think ourselves ill, through worry and over thinking things and that is draining to start with. No problems have shown in blood tests, very good news, you need to try to sort out one thing at a time.

    Mike.

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    • Posted

      I know, that is why I'm on beta blocker (propranolol 80mg) at the moment, but their not helping that much, other than lowering my heart rate and making me light headed and achy.

      In regard to blood tests, I only had one blood test in December for pancreatitis, but have had two blood tests in the last 5 months for my thyroid, not sure if that would detect anything else in it to be honest, I don't know really.

      Yeah, head wise? I'm in a really bad place, I worry over worry, I worry anxiety itself is a symptom of something else, so it's a vicious cycle and draining as well.

      Thanks for your reply, I do appreciate it! 

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  • Posted

    Update: I was having some stomach cramping and felt a bit sicky earlier, not sure if that was the Propranolol? I took it this morning on an empty stomach, but ate soon afterwards? Anyway, I'm having, excuse me for saying this...lots of gas? Like I'm passing gas a lot today, getting that stomach feeling when you need to pass gas, also belching a lot too, feeling windy. My leg felt a bit weak today again, not as bad but a little bit, feels achy as well, but I'm sitting all day in bed, so that probably isn't helping me.

    Me and my mum are arguing a lot at the moment, she can't cope with me being like this, and I'm very much alone right now, I'm having outbursts of crying because I feel cornered and alone and no one understands how I'm feeling, my fears, my feelings, symptoms etc.

    I feel like someone being tormented in a cage, proded and jeered, told    "to be stronger, pull yourself together, look what you're doing to me! You'll be the death of me! Why are you like this? Why is it something different everyday? You're ruining my life!" So forth and so on I've been hearing for a while now, which adds to making me feel completely worthless, pointless and making everyone around me unhappy for just existing.

    I feel like nothing...

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  • Posted

    Hi,

    You need to go back to your gp and explain your situation, if your finding it difficult with one medication then there are others which may be more suitable. Do not take meds on an empty stomach, get into a routine, lounging about in bed will lead to depression for you, and your mother, you need to keep mobile and active as you can.

    Mike.

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  • Posted

    Hi, thanks Mike. I'm on day 3 of my beta blockers (propranolol), and they seem to be settling in my system, I'm still getting light-headedness.

    My legs have gotten a little weak yesterday, a heavy sensation, but can walk normally as I walked the dogs today, felt a little wobbly, but did it anyway. Trying not to stay in bed all day, even going around the house doing a few chores, when I feel tired, I stop and rest and try again. When I woke up this morning my legs were extremely achy to the touch, like that feeling you get from a big workout? But obviously I'm very inactive, so maybe because I got a night's sleep my legs were relaxing?

    In my mind, whenever my legs or leg feels like that, or even my hips, I get super anxious and start thinking it's related to a cancer or another disease I don't know what it is, like Ms or something. Things like bone and spine cancer and things.

    Thanks for replying.

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