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I’m depressed and I need help. Please.

Posted , 4 users are following.

sarah76745
sarah76745

I’m depressed.

I haven’t been diagnosed or anything but I’ve self harmed A LOT and sometimes I get these thoughts about dying and the scary part is that sometimes I actually start planning my own death. And then I snap out of it and I’m happy for a few days or even a few months but in the end I always come back to that same feeling.

I want to tell someone but I’m so scared I don’t know how. Like how do I go up to my parents and be like “hey mom what’s for dinner? Btw I’m depressed and sometimes suicidal” I just want the help I KNOW I need but how the f**k do you say something like that??

Also my dads family kind of has a very negative view of anyone and everyone who has any kind of “psychological issues”. I have a cousin who has like a mix of anger issues and anxiety and stuff and everyone kind of just avoids him and treats him all weird and I DONT WANT THAT TO BE ME!! 

It just hurts so much. Everything just hurts and I want to die but I don’t want to die. That doesn’t even make any sense but I just don’t know anymore. 

Please help. 

0 likes, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • sue322
    sue322 sarah76745

    Posted

    Dear Sarah,

    Well done for writing here. Things sound so very difficult right now and I am sad to think how much you are hurting yourself. If you can't tell your mum yet, can you find someone else who it would be safe to talk to? You don't give your age, but if you are still at school or college there will be someone there such as a counsellor or patoral care team who will be so glad to listen and to help. Or your GP of course. I'm sorry that your Dad does not seem to understand how very real mental health issues are. He may need help to support you - but all in good time - first, worry about you and who best you can talk to. There is help out there.

    Sue

    • sarah76745
      sarah76745 sue322

      Posted

      I'm 15 and in high school. I don't know who to talk to. See the counselors at our school are obligated to tell our parents if they think we're gonna hurt ourselves so I don't want to talk to her.

      Thanks.

      sarah

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane sarah76745

    Posted

    Hi Sarah. As I read your email I could hear your pain loud and clear. Thank you for trusting us with your feelings here and I can promise you we understand what it feels like to hurt as you are hurting. 

    Do you mind telling me how old you are and what country you live in? 

    Your life is very valuable and so is the quality of your life your feelings. Do you have a close family friend that you could confide in?

    Please get back to me I care very much. Diane. 

    • sarah76745
      sarah76745 Adldiane

      Posted

      I'm 15 and I live in the US. I don't know anyone I can confide to. All of my 'family friends' would probably tell my parents.

      Thank you for answering.

      Sarah

    • Adldiane
      Adldiane sarah76745

      Posted

      Hi again Sarah. I thought maybe that might be the case so you are under age to see a therapist by yourself. Keep writing to us we will listen. Do you have a counselor at school that you could trust? I feel so bad that you are so depressed and that you feel so alone and do not feel that you can go to your parents. Please keep writing us. Diane. 
    • sarah76745
      sarah76745 Adldiane

      Posted

      Hey 

      I guess I could go to my to my school counselor but the problem is that she is obligated to inform my parents if she thinks I’m hurting myself and I don’t want them to find out.  

      Please give me some advice. 

      Sarah 

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane sarah76745

    Posted

    Sarah I think you should talk to the school counselor you need help and cannot go for therapy alone. When you get there see how you feel. Ask him/her exactly what they are obligated to tell your parents by law. You can share how seriously depressed you are. Don't you think? Please get back to me. Diane

    • sarah76745
      sarah76745 Adldiane

      Posted

      I guess I could but just telling someone seems so scary. I’ve never actually admitted it out loud to anyone and I don’t know if I can. I’m just sick and tired of always feeling so down. Why can’t I just be normal?? 

      Sarah 

  • wayne1962
    wayne1962 sarah76745

    Posted

    Hi Sarah - you need to get your mum in a private space and tell her. She will help you. The attitude about mental illness from your father's side of the family is irresponsible, out-dated and dangerous. Would they rather you suicide? I think not. Tell your Mum - you can keep it between yourselves if that will help, but you need to address what you are feeling. See the doc. Get a diagnosis. Ask for a referral to a psychologist if that is required. Act now.

    • sarah76745
      sarah76745 wayne1962

      Posted

      Hi

      Thanks for replying I guess I can always try right? I mean what’s the worst that’s can happen?

      Sarah 

    • sue322
      sue322 sarah76745

      Posted

      Hello Sarah, It is so good to hear that you are going to try speaking to your mum. That sounds like a big positive step on the road to recovery. And we're still here to listen too if that helps.

      Sue

  • Patient-George
    Patient-George sarah76745

    Posted

    Hi sarah76745,

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts , which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards

    Patient

    • sarah76745
      sarah76745 Patient-George

      Posted

      I just wanted to say thank you for caring. I’ve stopped hurting myself and only do it when I’m super desperate. But thank you so much!

      Sarah 

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