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I haven’t been diagnosed or anything but I’ve self harmed A LOT and sometimes I get these thoughts about dying and the scary part is that sometimes I actually start planning my own death. And then I snap out of it and I’m happy for a few days or even a few months but in the end I always come back to that same feeling.
I want to tell someone but I’m so scared I don’t know how. Like how do I go up to my parents and be like “hey mom what’s for dinner? Btw I’m depressed and sometimes suicidal” I just want the help I KNOW I need but how the f**k do you say something like that??
Also my dads family kind of has a very negative view of anyone and everyone who has any kind of “psychological issues”. I have a cousin who has like a mix of anger issues and anxiety and stuff and everyone kind of just avoids him and treats him all weird and I DONT WANT THAT TO BE ME!!
It just hurts so much. Everything just hurts and I want to die but I don’t want to die. That doesn’t even make any sense but I just don’t know anymore.
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