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So, last year I almost wrecked my marriage to my lovely, kind, thoughtful husband by being absolutely and uncontrollably vile to him as my peri symptoms got worse and worse. Thankfully he was really supportive and stuck by me. I was put on HRT back in October last year (and had the level increased in March this year) which really seemed to help, but just recently it has started again.
I am just filled with such a sense of self-loathing and lack of control over my own mind and body that I am behaving totally irrationally towards him - to the point I have made him cry twice in the past few weeks (and he's not someone who cries easily).
I hate the fact I am putting on weight despite eating very little. I hate the fact I can't exercise because of having a major and prolonged relapse of my ME. I hate the fact I am turning into a hairy beast - literally!!!!! I hate the fact I am too tired to do any of the fun stuff in life. I hate the fact I get anxious about EVERYTHING - even the stupid stuff. I hate the fact I can't eat anything except the most bland boring food because anything else upsets my stomach. I hate the fact that I am unable to keep a friendship and seem to drive everyone away, even my own sister. I hate the fact that every single day seems difficult.
And I hate the fact I'm letting all this impact so much on my life and that of my poor husband when I know that there are so many people out there who are worse off than me.
I don't want to destroy my marriage ... but have no idea what to do.
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